white crayon • jerrie thirlwards

one.

My eyes fix on the coffee cup in front of me, waiting silently for the tea to finally cool. Patience is running low, so I grab the mug and blow into it, making the tea slightly splutter onto my hand and the table. I sigh, wiping the scolding tea off my hand.

My patience runs low very fast. It's like I have to do the thing that I want right then and if I don't, I get restless. Maybe it's a form of a temper tantrum like those 9 year olds.

I give up trying to make it colder and put it back down on the table. I open up my laptop and start to log into tumblr.

The bells ring again from the front door of the little coffee shop. I glance up and see the blonde walk inside and look around at the people. I sigh, knowing that if I try anything, she'll just ignore me, so I look back at my laptop screen.

As she goes to the cashier, I watch her in the corner of my eye and see the corners of her lips form a smile. She has such a beautiful smile, even if it may be a fake one.

I look back down at my laptop before she's finished ordering and listen to the faint music that this little coffee shop plays over the speakers. Sounds of footsteps mixed in with the music and they were getting louder, as if they were walking my way. I didn't look up, since I'm so stubborn and think that it's just someone walking passed.

The empty seat in front of me moved and made a screeching noise, making my head move fast and look to see what was happening. As I finally focus on what's happening, I notice that the blonde is sitting in front of me, her blue eyes shining at mine and the sadness in them on display. My mouth opens slightly but no words seem to come out.

"You don't mind if I sit here, right?" she asks with her soft voice. She sounds scared, as if she really was hoping I would be the first to speak.

Something about her made me want to write poetry and sing to her as I play the guitar softly in my apartment as the snow fell to the ground outside my window. I wanted to watch her smile slowly form as the words I sing make her feel happy. I want to make her happy.

"Oh, uhm. No, it's fine," I said, stupidly. "I don't mind company."

The waitress comes over and places the tea in front of her, smiling down at the two of us. "I see you've made a friend," the waitress comments. Perrie nodded at her and gave a warm smile. It looked genuine and soft, making my insides warm.

As the waitress leaves, I close my laptop and decide to put all of my attention toward her. She deserves all of it. "So, what made you decide to sit with me today? The other day you seemed a bit--uh--scared of me, almost." As much as I thought I was saying the right thing, I also felt I sounded like a complete dickhead.

She gave me another one her soft smiles, making me smile back. It was contagious, I swear. She took a while to think up of the words she would say back but I really didn't mind. I was admiring her face and looking at all of the curves and freckles she had in it. "I thought I could make a new friend. Since you seemed to be interested in me, which is surprising."

I make a face as if what she said was absolutely absurd. "Excuse me? How is it surprising that someone could ever take an interest in you? You're very interesting. You have blonde hair, you have freckles, you're personality is gorgeous."

A small laugh comes out of her lips, something out of a daydream. It was one of the prettiest sounds I have ever heard in my life. She shook her head in disagreement and tilted her head whilst looking at me, the sadness in her eyes slowly drifting away like a piece of paper floating away in the ocean. "I'm like the white crayon. No one needs or uses it. It's just a waste of space in the crayon box. I mean, you can't use white crayons on white paper, it doesn't work."

I was almost saddened by the statement, since I know that she feels as if no one finds her special and no one will ever love her as much as the rest of the colours in the crayon box. I give her a soft smile and shake my head once. "You just need to find someone who prefers black paper."

Her lips curve into a smile and for once, her eyes do too. My heart fills with happiness and warmth seeing her happy. "Is that statement referring to yourself?"

I let out a small laugh and she follows suit with her gorgeous, wide smile laugh that makes me realise that I would love her hear her laugh every day of my life. "Possibly," I say. "unless that sounds way too cheesy and like an arsehole, then, no. Definitely not."

We both laugh in unison and I feel something for once, the sound of the soft, faint indie music playing from the crappy speakers of the coffeeshop, the rain dropping down on the window beside us, and the sound of her laugh combined makes me feel soft and warm. I never wanted this to end.

++++

HEY HEY!!! ITS ME!!! NATALIE!!! IM WRITING AGAIN??

I've read through some of my stories and seen that some of them have so much potential. I'm so ready to get some of these started. I have missed all of you. I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH.

also, the line "you just need to find someone who prefers black paper" was inspired by someone who commented it on the last chapter. Thank you so much for that because it gave me so much inspiration. Shout out to you (i forget the username I'm terrible).

BYE BYE!!! :)))