Trivial

     It was never supposed to end like this.

     The fight was trivial. It started and ended the same way - quickly. Ryo's pride and Edo's stubbornness took equal parts of the blame, but somehow, Edo won out with his final quip.

     "I hate you!"

     He swore to himself he didn't mean it, but the poison in his voice lashed like any weapon nonetheless, and he could see instantly the shock in Ryo's eyes. It was unlike Edo to say such a thing, especially when it was so wholly untrue. Still, Ryo's face had hardened with all the hurt and anger he could muster, and he had turned without another word to leave. It didn't matter if his pride was too great. It would have taken nothing less than Edo's declaration to send him away.

     Maybe it was the anger that spurred Ryo to do such a ridiculous thing. Maybe it was a drive for revenge, for one final spit in Edo's face. An "ah ha, look what you've done" moment. Or maybe it was inevitable, whether Edo had blown up or not. After all, Ryo's heart condition was nothing to sneer at; it was serious, likely even fatal, although Ryo struggled to never reveal any sort of impact from it. Edo knew it was there, though, hidden in the creasing of Ryo's eyebrows or the gritting of his teeth. It was painful, both for Edo to watch and Ryo to experience.

     Of course Edo had to say something that was a direct blow to an already-weak heart.

     The news came as a shock to Edo, and he didn't believe it at first. He puffed up his chest and guffawed - Ryo was really playing up the drama this time - but the crestfallen look on Sho's face was enough to silence him. Realization was a bitch. His whole body flushed with a sudden heat, starting in his lungs, choking the air right out of him. Edo's legs folded like towels, and he crumpled to the floor, palms finding the tile and arms trembling as he tried to support himself. It felt like the floor was slipping out from underneath of him, and with desperate hands he clawed at the ground, trying to keep himself upright. He could not collapse. He could not fall, because he wasn't entirely convinced he would be able to drag himself back up if he did.

     He did not register Sho kneeling down beside him, placing a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. He did not register the sound of screaming, until it was suddenly too loud, and he wondered why Sho was wailing so pitifully.

     The scream was his own.

     After too-long moments of hot tears and shouting to a void that would never answer, cursing a God that did not care, Edo's cries died down, replaced by bubbling sobs and strained mutters of apologies. The last thing Ryo ever heard from him was "I hate you." He didn't mean it. He never meant it. He regretted it instantly, but Ryo would never know that. He couldn't fix this. He couldn't. There was nothing left to do but reflect on his failings and blame himself for Ryo's demise.

     Edo couldn't breathe. His face was beet red, eyes puffy and bloodshot from crying. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Ryo was supposed to come home and glare at Edo, and Edo was supposed to sigh and recant his statement, apologizing for everything and offering a small smile that Ryo would return ever so slightly. Edo was supposed to make instant noodles in the microwave and sit down with Ryo and talk about nothing. Edo was supposed to brush his teeth, put on his pajamas, and fall asleep, just barely back to back with Ryo, who was not very cuddly but so, so warm to be near. And in the morning, it was supposed to be a cycle anew.

     But the cycle was broken, and so was Edo's heart. No matter how Sho tried to console him, he knew it was his own fault. If he'd just been okay with losing the argument, if he'd just kept his stupid mouth shut, Ryo would be alive and he could hold him and cry into his shoulder and tell him he's sorry-

     But there would be no chance. Ryo was gone.

     Edo wished he could melt into the floor and disappear forever.

     It was never supposed to be like this. Edo could've thwarted his own destiny if he'd just been smarter. But he wasn't. And the ultimate price to pay was the life of his most loved one.

     The fight was trivial. But it changed everything.