Green Eyes ~~ A Jori Fanfiction

12. the wrong thing

Jade was getting into bed when her foot nudged something on the floor. She reached down and picked it up. A small, lavender notebook. And she remembered, when Tori had come over, just before she'd... Jade didn't know quite how to put it. Propositioned her? Seduced her? But anyway, she'd been clutching this to her chest, as though it had meant something. She looked closer, to see a small, handwritten title. Tori's Diary.

Now Jade knew that if you'd asked anyone who knew her, either personally or by reputation, whether she was the kind of girl that would sneak a look at someone's diary if she found it unattended, the answer would almost certainly be 'yes'. In fact if you asked them if she was the kind of girl who break into someone's house, tie them up, jimmy open their desk and steal their diary, or simple hold them at gunpoint and force them to read extracts of their own diary out loud whilst mocking them into a puddle of humiliation, the answer would also probably be 'yes'. And yet she hesitated.

Six months ago she'd be making herself some popcorn and settling down to a good read. But now this felt like spying on Tori, breaking her trust, and right now it was mutual trust that was holding everything together. They shared a secret, and if Jade betrayed Tori, she was pretty sure that karmic retribution would kick her in the ass. And in many ways, she didn't want to know – when she thought back to her behavior over the condom, and the phone, and Ted, and all the other stupid things she'd done, she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to read Tori's personal assessment of her crimes against common sense and decency, it would be like watching a blooper reel of your own life.

And so she carefully took the diary, unopened and unread, and slid it back under the bed. The time would come when it could be returned without any fuss, but for now she felt a strange sense of relief, of contentment. For once in her life, for one night only, she'd Done the Right Thing, and although there was no one around to record this epic event, to blow the bugle and break out the bunting, she lay back to savor the feeling before it slipped away. Before she slipped away, into a deep and restful sleep.

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And sometime before dawn, she had the dream again – she's sat by the lake, watching the lily, and she knows what's going to happen, knows it will be lost, and she tries to resist, tries to ignore the distraction, tries to focus, but it's hopeless. And in the end there's only the long, lonely silence as she watches it float away.

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If Jade had expected things to be awkward back at school, she was pleasantly surprised. Tori's demeanor was happy, ecstatic, almost - what Jade would have considered 'Tori' turned up to eleven. And when it showed no sign of either abating or veering towards an explosive confession in the middle of the Asphalt Café that would leave a smoking hole in the middle of their little circle, Jade began to relax, enjoying the easiness with which they shared their new-found conspiracy. She would sometimes catch Tori glancing at her, and when she did, Tori would flash her a sly smile, and Jade would blush a little and look down with a secret smile of her own. She'd been carrying Tori's diary in her bag, hoping for an opportunity to either slip it into her locker, or hand it over with a modest shrug at her own personal sacrifice in not having read it. It said a lot for their new relationship that Jade expected Tori to believe this, but then things were different now.

The difference was noticeable, and if anyone was going to notice, it was Beck.

"What's going on with you two?" he asked, as Tori drifted past the table with a wave.