How do you solve

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She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee
Her dress has got a tear
She waltzes on her way to mass
And whistles on the stair
And underneath her wimple
She has curlers in her hair
I've even heard her singing in the abbey
She's always late for chapel
But her penitence is real
She's late for everything
Except for every meal
I hate to have to say it
But I very firmly feel
Maria's not an asset to the abbey
I'd like to say a word in her behalf
Maria makes me... laugh

           Chorus:
How do you solve a problem like maria
How do you catch a cloud
And pin it down
How do you find a word
That means maria
A flibbertigibbet
A will-o'-the-wisp
A clown
Many a thing you know
You'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand
How do you solve a problem like maria
How do you hold a moonbeam...
...in your hand

When Im with her Im confused
Out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
Unpredictable as weather
She's as flightly as feather
She's a darling
She's a demon
She's a lamb
She'll out pester any pest
Drive a hornet from it's nest
She can throw a whirling dervish
Out of whirl
She is gentle, She is wild
She's a riddle, She's a child
She's a headache
She's an angel
She's a girl

[Repeat Chorus]

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