Maybe it was a bad idea.
Julian threw his cigarette in the toilet and walked out of the bathroom stall. His hands were still shaking, and he closed his eyes as he let the cold water from the tap run over his hands to calm his nerves.
“Jules?” Will’s voice sounded faint from outside the door. “You okay in there?”
Julian slowly opened his eyes again. “Just a second!”
He turned off the water and looked in the mirror. He’d been avoiding his reflection for months, simply because seeing Anna’s eyes in his own was still too painful. Too strange. His reflection only belonged to him now. After taking a deep breath, Julian pushed through the door to meet his friend.
“You don’t have to do this. You know that right?” Will asked for probably the fifth time that day.
“I do,” Julian said. “It’s what Anna would’ve wanted. I have to do this one last thing for her.”
Will nodded. “She would’ve loved this. Let’s go then.”
The two boys started down the long corridor. Although they walked in complete silence, Julian was glad to have Will by his side. He wasn’t used to being alone, and Will had understood that ever since this mess had started. So he’d been there almost all the time, even if just for the sake of being there.
Finally they turned a corner that said BACKSTAGE on it in capitalized red letters.
The tech guy was a nice enough bloke. He didn’t start the immediate rain of questions Julian usually got from strangers these days; he just did his job, securing a small microphone to the hem of Julian’s shirt.
“All right lad,” said the guy, smiling. “All set. The hall is filling up, we’re ready when you are.”
Julian nodded a thank you, and turned to Will. His concerned look made him aware of his shallow breath and his shaking hands.
“Jules. Jules, look at me.” Will firmly placed his hands on Julian’s shoulders. “You can do this. They’re just people. They’re just people and you are going to tell them a story. It’s what you do. You talk, and they will listen.”
Julian nodded shakily.
“Just use your words, Jules,” said Will. “And if they don’t want to listen, fuck ‘em. You’re a hero for doing this, mate.”
Julian actually smiled now. “Thanks, Will, for everything.”
The moment Julian stepped onto the stage and saw the crowd, he felt alone and out of place. His place had never been in the spotlight, and that was exactly where he was right now. He looked around the hall for a moment. It was completely packed with people. Reporters, twisted rich people, people who got off on sensational headlines. Maybe even a few people who were actually interested in what he had to say.
Julian took a deep breath and walked to the centre of the stage, so he was standing in front of the row of five paintings, that were still covered up with white sheets.
When the people saw him, the murmur in the room died down to a complete silence. No one really knew what to expect.
“Hello,” Julian said hesitantly. “My name is Julian Griffiths, as you might know. Who you certainly do know, is my sister, Anna Griffiths. I am here today to tell you her story. Our story. I’m sure you’ve all read the headlines in the Sun, maybe even the somewhat kinder ones in The Guardian, as I am sure that you’ve all seen the reports on the news. The facts they have stated are true. The story behind it, however, they didn’t really know anything about.”
Julian paused for a moment and cleared his throat.
“My twin sister Anna and I were extremely close. She was the other half that I never thought I’d have to live without. She was the most important part of me, and I would’ve done anything to protect her. The only thing I never could protect her from, turned out to be Iris. Iris Hayden was the centre of our universe, whether we knew it or not. She was beautiful and careless, charming and witty. She was also arrogant and vain, selfish and incapable of love. We met at boarding school when we were twelve, and the three of us were inseparable from the start. Iris called us ‘her twins’ and that was exactly what we were: she owned us. She was all I ever wrote about. Every word I put on paper was because of her. She was in every story that I wrote, but this story started when Anna painted her for the first time.
