No. I don't cliff dive. I once accidentally fell into the water when I turned in panic. I was alone. And the current was too strong I only got up for air a few times before passing out and maybe for a moment I saw death come for me. Vinn saved me, he pulled me out of the water and brought me back to the tribe. But 'It doesn't change anything' I told him.
When Sam told me they were going cliff diving. I went with them. Only to see how they can do it without being scared. Or was it, they're scared but they do it anyway. And even if the pack took me with them for a couple of times, I never went for it. I just watch them and then go back to the cabin. Embry wasn't sure at first too, he walked with me until one day he just decided he wanted to do it. And he was ready to do it. Maybe one day, I'll be ready too.
Paul is still mad at me for telling Bella about the shape shifters, but what he doesn't get is that she gets to be close with us. It'll be easier to protect her from Laurent and Victoria this way.
She gets to stay with Emily during our runs. They seem to get along just fine despite Bella having a history with vampires, Emily has been understanding of her situation even putting her mind off somewhere else like cooking or boardgames, it helps with forgetting the Cullens, but Jacob would occassionally mention them and she'd return to her gloomy self for a moment.
I wish I knew where they went. Even with Sam being at peace with not having vampires around, I have to say that we could've had an extra helping hand in coverage of scouting. Sam isn't gonna let us out of the borders, whatever's happening out there, the people are on their own.
"Jake told me a lot about you. I thought I know it all. But he said how you tried to leave many times."
"Yeah. But this place is really growing on me."
"Then don't leave. Just stay here. They really love you."
"Love gets us killed. I don't need it. I need to be stronger, to protect you, and the others."
She doesn't get it. And I hope she doesn't have to go through it. Her eyes sparks up like rememberinv something.
"Lets go. I wanna show you something." Bella dragged me on her truck until we got to an open field full of flowers. It was very pretty like a painting and even though it was gloomy I can imagine how the sun would touch it and how soft the grass feels. "If you ever need a place to think. This is it."
We went back to the rez, Bella parks up near the cabin and after hopping down I felt eyes on me.
"You go head inside." I told her.
I went to check the perimeter alone. And saw paw prints all over. It wasn't one of ours.
At night I couldn't shake off that feeling. Of not knowing what lurks in the darkness. If it isn't Laurent or Victoria, then who else would want to get Bella?
--
Victoria walks towards me with a sly smile. Her furcoat soaking in blood of the Quileutes and behind her are the burning bodies of the Cullens. She takes Bella and bites her until eventually her heart stops beating.
I am face to face with her.
"You killed James. I will kill who you love the most." And she takes another person and kills it in an instant.
I wake up in a nightmare. Panting. Victoria is out for revenge. I already know that.
--
Billy was alone at the breakfast table. He said Jacob went out early for a jog and I plan to go with the pack after meal. But Quil had stormed inside the house followed by Embry.
"It's the crazy vampire lady!" He pants for a moment "We got tail on her!"
We rushed out and they lead me towards Sam and the others. We were somewhere in the woods when at the corner of my eye I saw something else.
We heard a howl from Jacob, calling Quil and Embry. And I could've followed them but I have to catch this thing.
It was fast. But not that quiet anymore. Every step it made was obvious. I was so focused on catching it, I pull of the brakes as it lead to the cliff. Thenits nowhere. That was close.
"Bella jumped off the cliff." Embry told me. But she's okay now. She was brought back to Charlie by Jacob. And said that she saw Victoria under water and that Laurent was there too by the cliffs.
"Where were you!?" Paul started.
"I thought I saw something. I followed it."
"You thought you saw something? Whatever it is it could've gotten you killed!"
"Paul." Sam warned him and he backed up but there was something pushing him.
"No! She's been following no one but her own!"
"Take it easy Paul." Embry tries to calm him down.
"I follow the pack, It's how we stay alive! And you should do the same."
"Incase you haven't noticed she's not part of the pack! And maybe its better than hearing all of your stupid monologues!" Leah said angrily.
"I'd still rather be loyal to my kind than follow a vampire's order on taking care of their human pet!" He snarled at Leah. He knew she hated the Cullens too.
"Paul you better shut up now." Jared tried to stay calm. But I can feel tension between them.
"Come on, Jared. You know how many times the leech lover had placed her in danger." Paul tried to take him on his side on this.
"And how many times we weren't there to save her when we should've." Jared reminded him.
Paul shifts his eyes on me. "And none of this would've happened if you stayed away from her."
"She was never to blame. It was all on me. It was my mistake for heading towards the cabin that day. None of this should've happened if I just disappeared that very same day. I'm sorry but if I had to choose between the pack and Bella, I'd choose to protect her, we're the only friends she has now. And everything happening to her is because of me."
Was it too much? I only said it because it's the truth. For so many times I tried to leave, but something always drags me back here. I couldn't find a greater reason to go away and maybe it's me not wanting to go anyway.
