Make Believe (Book #2, PRETEND SERIES)

Chapter 19: Monday, October 7th at 7:25pm

APRIL’S POINT OF VIEW

 

She was serious. I could see it in her eyes — eyes don’t lie. Every word she said was the truth. In this moment, with just the two of us trapped in this little room, she bared her soul to me, and I had no idea why. Maybe it was because she knew I wouldn’t ever be leaving here to be able to tell anyone. But I don’t think so. I believe she needed to do this — to offload or release something — to heal. She only told me these things because she felt that somehow I too shared the blame in all of this. Whatever this was.

The smell of the fuel was dancing up my nose, intoxicating me a little more with every second that went by. I knew this was the end. There was no other way out. No escape. Nobody knew where I was. Not even I knew. Did I even want anyone to find me anyway? She was dousing this place, and ready to set it on fire. Would I really want the people I loved the most to find my burnt remains? No.

I accepted my fate. This was it. I was not scared anymore. I had subconsciously trained my brain to understand that this was my end. You sort of get to that stage in a situation like this — a stage of pure realization. You start to realize the impossibilities of a situation.

All of those classes in high school that I labeled as pointless suddenly kicked in. Probabilities: the probability of me escaping, unlikely. Addition: fuel plus a lit match, equals fire. Yes, it all becomes useful in those last moments because you draw on everything you have. You go into automatic survival mode, and when the survival fails, you learn the art of acceptance. Acceptance: I am going to die.

And in that moment of acceptance, you draw on the memories because it’s something to distract you. It’s the one thing that can take away the pain and the heartbreak. In that last moment, I was thinking about my family and my friends, and how much I loved them. I was remembering that I hadn’t told my mom how great she had been in my life all of these years. I hadn’t told Bob that he was the best stand-in father a girl could ask for. I never got to tell my father that I forgave him, and that I was so proud of how he turned everything around. I never got the chance to tell my baby brother what to expect the first time he meets a girl or how to treat her. I never got to tell my Grandma that she was the best cook in the world or Uncle Harry that he was silly, but that I loved him so much. I never got to visit Gramps’ grave and put down the new flowers I was supposed to a week ago. I never got to tell Anthony that he was the brother I always wanted. I never told Jinnie and Erica that even though they fight all the time that I still love them. The chance was stolen from me to tell Jess what an amazing and valued friend she had become over the years. Crystal never got to find out that I no longer regarded her as my friend because she was my sister. I never told Kyle that despite everything we had been through I still loved him, and he was one of the most amazing friends I had ever had. I missed the chance to take Mimi to that new nail bar she kept talking about excessively. And I never got the chance to tell Aiden that he’s the only man who ever made me fall in love, the only man I dream about having kids with, growing old with, and loving until my dying day.

See, they say that in those last moments your life flashes before your eyes, but they’re wrong. All you can think about is what you could have done if you had more time. You think about what you wished you could do.

“Done,” Leah whispered, throwing the empty bottle on the floor.

I could barely make out her shape through the tears in my eyes. I gave up reasoning with her now. This was beyond my control, and the truth was, I was tired. Tired of fighting the inevitable. This was like a torture that I was ready to end.

“I know how this ends. I know you’re going to kill me, to kill us both. You should know though, it’ll change nothing. All you’re going to leave behind is more pain,” I whispered trying to fight the fumes that were making me drowsy.

“No, I’m not just leaving it behind. I’m escaping it. I’m freeing myself because I can’t do this anymore. I’m tired,” she whimpered as she looked at me. “Aren’t you tired, April,” she asked. I nodded my head and closed my eyes.

“The sad thing is that you seem like a nice person, but we have to pay, we both do. I’m sorry that it has to be so screwed up, but it just does.”

“Tell me one thing first?” I asked.

“What?”

“Why? You still haven’t explained why?”

“I thought that was obvious by now. It’s because of him. He saved me from Steve, April. I was so scared. I was so hurt. It was going on and on and on, and I kept crying and screaming for my mom. She never came, but he did. He came for me, April. He saved me. I needed him to save me, and he did,” she cried. “He should have been here, he would have been here. I drove him to do the things that he did. I put so much pressure on him. All of the secrets and the lies. I made him become a murderer, and it was too much, but you, you pushed him over the edge. I would visit him in that place. They said they were there to help him, but they weren’t. To them, he was just another lost cause, just a patient. But to me, he was a hero. He was my big brother, and he saved me. You put him there. You.” She paused as she wiped a tear off her face. “They found him in the middle of the night just hanging there. I had seen him that morning, and he said things were getting better, that he was getting better, but he lied. He was trying to protect me, to be strong because he felt he had to. But he needed help, too. Who was strong for him? Nobody. We all left him to rot while we continued our pathetic existences, and all that time he was planning his death. Day after day. It was one big plan. I stood at his graveside, and I made a promise. I promised that I would make the people who did this to him pay. I promised him, April, and I can’t break it. So, here we are, the people who did this to him, made him...made him so miserable that he would take his own life. The two people who brought him to his demise are sitting here in this room, and we have to pay. I can’t break that promise.”

I struggled for a breath of air when it dawned on me.

 “And there it is! The look in your eyes that I have been waiting for,” she uttered.

“Jay Jay,” I gasped in shock.

“Yeah, Jay Jay, that’s what I called him when we were younger. It was my nickname for him, but, of course, you know his real name, right?”

“Jake. You are Jake’s sister.”

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So, to those of you that guessed right, well done!! Yes, she is Jake's sister!!!! Ahhhhhhh lol Ok, now for another upload methinks ;) lol xxx