Before I Let You Go

Chapter 1: After Anna Todd

The first place James penetrates you is in the ears. Always the ears. "Well, hi there," he'll say, and his essence will reach for you through the radio. James' voice is smooth as silk but packed with just enough gravel to make you squirm and cross your legs once, twice, three times a charm. "It's nice to be with you again," he'll continue, "for another great show. Sit back and relax because for the next hour, you're mine."

By this point, he's got you. You're leaning in and turning up the radio in your car, or on your headphones, or whatever and you're feeling his voice touch you in fragile places made temporarily invisible by clothing.

His voice wraps around your body and rises between your legs. You start to breathe a little slower, even moan.

Oh James. James, I want you.

James has this effect on women.

He has been the hot host of the hottest radio show in America for the past seven and a half years, called 'Q+A With James Mogeshi.' I KNOW that you've heard of it! One Direction, Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber; the stars all flock to be interviewed by him and, no matter how powerful and famous the person on his guest chair is, it's crystal clear whose in control. James is in total control. James grabs hold of the conversation like he's got them on their knees with his belt around their neck.

"Wow, James," they'll stutter, "I c-c-can't believe that you just got me to admit that on air! I've never admitted that about my childhood to anyone!" And James will chuckle and say something like: "I knew that I could. I'm hard to resist."

Then his guest will chuckle, and James will chuckle, laughter echoing over radio waves. You can sometimes HEAR them blush over the radio. I swear, he's that smooth. Oh, James.

There's something so intimate about listening to James on headphones. He comes with me as I go about my day. I've taken him strolling outdoors, or to the gym, or when I'm stuffed like a sardine on the subway.

I mean, yes, he wasn't really with me. Just on my iPhone. But it felt like he was. I'd stuff my iphone in my sweats so that he'd be in my pants. Lame, I know. But I didn't care. It excited me.

And I would often close my eyes while I listened to him. Which is sooooo intimate. God, I love radio! I'd lay on my bed and let his voice wrap around me like a snake. Sometimes, I would close my door so that my roommate, Harry, wouldn't barge in, and then I'd put on my comfy grey Roots sweatpants and let James penetrate my ears through my iPhone earbuds. I would slide my hand down my pants and over my panties. He would make my panties so, so weeaaaaait a minute.

How rude of me. You don't even KNOW ME!

I want to tell you two things. I NEED to tell you. First, who I am, and second, who James really is. Because James needs to be stopped.

The following chapters are my journal entries. This is my true story. I will try and use Wattpad to show you that James is not to be trusted. He has a dark, evil side to him. And, I should tell you this now...James has destroyed me. Ruined me. But nobody believes me....I will try to make you believe me.

...please, you need to hear this. Everyone believes James. But, with your help, I'm going to try and take James down. WE will stop James. 

So, who am I? I'm simple 21 year old girl living in a complicated world. I live in Toronto, Canada. I bite my nails when I'm nervous. I am extremely polite in public but I swear like a sailor with my friends. I've been known to say "Holy fuckshit." I don't like to wear panties. I have long wavy blonde hair that always needs combing. I have freckles. I have straight teeth - thanks to my parents' getting me braces as a teen. I'm 5'3 and about 110 pounds, give or take a stressful week. I have small breasts that are perky and proud.

What else can I tell you? Hmm. I have green eyes. They're big and people often comment on these first. I recently graduated from journalism school at NYU. I dream of being a famous journalist one day. My idol is Carl Burnstein, one of the two reporters who broke the Watergate Scandal that led to President Richard Nixon being thrown out of office. I find Carl Burnstein dreamy!

I had just graduated from NYU and moved back to Toronto when this story starts. This is about three months ago, although it feels like another lifetime of innocence. 

So what did James do? I'm just not ready to tell you that yet. I'm trying, honestly. I thought that I was about to tell you...but I need a couple of more days. It's too fresh. I'm too scared. I'm sorry.

But I can tell you how it started. 

I was lying in bed, listening to James on Q+A. James was about to interview Anna Todd, whose novel 'After,' was about to be published by Simon Schuster and turned into a movie. I'm a huge fan of Anna's, so I was doubly excited. He was first finishing up an interview about global warming. 

"Before I let you go," James said, "I want to ask you one more question." James always says "Before I let you go" near the end of an interview. It's one of his catchphrases. 

I closed my eyes and waited for Anna Todd to step up to the microphone. 

"Hi, Anna," he finally says. 

"Hi," she says. "Thanks for having me." 

"Tell me about After," says James.