A Million Ways To Spend Our Time

Part Ten: Where Are the Feasts We Were Promised?

Jim peeked out of the door to the staircase, checking the hallway for passerby. Glad to see the coast was clear, we raced towards the door to his room just in case anyone decided to pop up. Once inside, I sat down on the couch. Jim closed the door and walked towards the couch, sitting in one of the chairs across from me. We had placed our notepads and pens down on the coffee table before we sat down, so I picked up my notepad and began going over Jim's corrections a second time. "Alana?" Jim spoke softly yet deliberately, looking directly at me. "Yes, Jim?" "What do you want with me?" "What do you mean?" I was a bit taken aback by this question. "What is your intention, or what do you hope for with me?" I cleared my throat, pondering over this question for a moment. "Well, I enjoy your company. You're easy to talk to, and of course get poetry criticism from. You're interesting, you're different, you're..." "Sexy?," Jim joked. "I don't have to tell you that." I blushed, avoiding eye contact with him. "I'm glad you're here tonight." "Thank you. Me too." "You still haven't answered my question." "To be honest, I'm not really sure. I do know that life is much more interesting with you in it, regardless of how." "Thank you." I could tell he was truly touched by the idea of making my life more positive. "If Pamela didn't exist, would you want to go out with me?" "I don't know." Jim raised an eyebrow. "Really?" "That's a big question to ask somebody, especially when we've only known each other for such a short time." "True." He got up, walking over towards the couch and sitting on the other end. "You learning anything?," he asked teasingly. "Actually, yes." "I know you're using that paper as a defense mechanism." "Maybe. Not necessarily." I knew I was starting to clam up but wasn't going to tell him that. "You know you're a lot more expressive in your writing than you are vocally." "Yep. That's what I tell people." I continued going over the poem, staring at the paper intently when I felt my shoes being taken off of my feet. "What are you doing?" "Getting us more comfortable." He took off his own shoes, then pulled my legs over his thighs. I still managed to only stare at the paper, wishing Aurora's pillow had still been there. Jim chuckled. "How long you gonna read the same sentence over and over?" "Until it kicks into my head." Jim smirked. "I see you're pretty stubborn." "Sure am." I noticed that his hands were now resting on my legs, but I didn't have any objections. My mind wandered back to my dead-end job and my lack of money. I knew my face had become more solemn in appearance, and that my smile was fading. "What is it?" "Just thinking about how the transition is going to be tomorrow back into my normal, boring and broke life." Part of me didn't want to go that far out loud, but the other half had to do it. "How's your savings plan going?" I was surprised that was all that he said in response. "Okay. Decent, but it could be better." "You'll get out of there one day. It probably feels like forever now, but it won't last that long." "Right. I'll probably end up being the manager, still there when I'm 52." We chuckled, imagining this. "Nah. There's more out there for you than that. Just keep focusing on who you really are. Never forget or divert from that." "Thanks." I gave him a weak smile, finally putting down the notepad. "What time do you have to be at school tomorrow?" "8:00." "Okay, so unfortunately we need to get up around 6:45 then. I wouldn't want you to be late." "That's fine." "Don't forget your art that's over there, either." I looked over to see my artwork still sitting there in the corner of the room. "Yeah. I'm glad you said that, I almost forgot." I looked at the clock, which told me it was already 10:00 PM. "Well, I suppose I should go brush my teeth and get ready for bed." Jim looked over to see the time. "Yeah, you should. It's getting late." I got up and went into Jim's bathroom, managing to rinse the sand off my feet, find the toothpaste and get my face washed. I noticed that Jim had went to the other bathroom to do what he needed to do, instead of demanding the use of his own. I thought this was very generous. I turned around to exit his bathroom and saw him closing the door to his room. "You didn't need anything else from out there, did you?" "No, it's fine." I placed my bag down onto the carpet near the corner of the room. I caught him eyeing me, noticing that I had changed into a nightgown. "Well, I'm sure that's a lot more comfortable then your jean shorts, but after last night, do you really feel that is necessary?" "I will decide if it is necessary or not, thank you." I held back laughter as I tried to appear confident. Jim smirked. "Okay." He pulled the covers back from the bed as I walked over towards the other side of it. As he laid down on the bed, I sat on the edge of my side, still contemplating all of my emotions. "What is it this time?," Jim asked with a chuckle. "Nothing." I laid down on the bed, acting like nothing had happened. "Nothing, huh? Well, if you ask me, you have all the reasons to want to be with me, then also all the reasons to want to avoid me like the plague. And regardless of all that, here you are. You have a good head on your shoulders. You are compassionate, but you also don't want to get taken advantage of by anyone, especially those that you care about and confide in. I don't think that there's 'nothing' between us, especially due to the fact that you're here no matter what's going through that wild imagination of yours." And he expected me to have something to say in reply to that? I stared at him for amoment, contemplating his infinite level of depth and perception and pure aptitude at what interested him. "How'd you get so good at analysis?" Jim smirked, almost blushing. "I always did have a high I.Q." "I believe you." My hair was beginning to fall into my face, but I didn't want to sacrifice my macho bravado persona to fix it. Jim reached over and gently brushed the annoying piece of hair behind my ear. "Stubborn like you, huh?" I smirked. "I guess so." We didn't speak for a moment, as the room began to fill with silence. "Jim?" "Hmm?" "What are you going to do now?" "What do you mean, now?" "Now that..." I tried to keep my emotions in check and remain my composure. "Now that we've had this time together, you mean?" "Yes." "Well, I thought getting your phone number would be a good idea to start with." He smiled at me gently, and I found him rather angelic looking. I gave him half of a smile, then resumed concentrating on what I really wanted to say." I just need to know some things, and I hope that we can discuss them and still have a good evening. It's just for my piece of mind." "Okay." I could see that he was truly willing to listen. "So let's say you get my number and we talk once in a while, and one day Pamela finds it somewhere. Then what do we do?" "I'd have it memorized in no time, and she's not always with me, especially when we fight." "Okay, and as good as that sounds, what if one day somebody said something to her or she got suspicious over something?" "She's always suspicious of something. I do my thing and she does hers." "What kind of relationship is that, Jim?" Jim sighed for a moment. "It's complicated, okay? You'll understand eventually. For now, can you just be with me tonight, please?" I sighed and looked down at the bedspread, my heart on fire and my brain screaming insults at me. "Alright then." I laid back against the pillow on my back, trying to relax and just be in the moment. I had always had the tendency to get the enemy before they get me, so to speak. I also enjoyed having all of my ducks in a row before my ship even thought about sinking, so this was a completely new environment for me mentally, not including the fact that it involved Jim Morrison and the likes of him. "Thank you for staying with me." Jim spoke softly, turning off the lamp next to his side of the bed. "Thank you for inviting me. And treating me as you have." "You're welcome. I'm not always angelic, you know." I thought it was ironic that this was the word he chose to use, almost like he had read my mind earlier. "I'm sure you're not. Nobody is all the time. Knowing that also makes me appreciate this even more, and that I brought this side out of you tonight." Jim smiled. "Maybe you're a good influence on me, then." "We'll see about that." Jim smirked. "I'll see about whether you get that number or not too," I joked. Jim chuckled. "I already had that number when you agreed to stay the night last night." I knew he was right, but wasn't going to just say that out loud. "Oh really? What is it then?" "I don't know," Jim replied, giggling. "But I thought you knew everything." I smirked. Jim sighed. "I think I've met my mental match." "Well that's good, considering I usually hear about how I'm much more than people can handle." "I would never say that to you." "I'm up for that kind of challenge." "Okay then." Jim turned over to face me, and I was still lying on my back.