As long as people's knowledge goes, we know that Sloths are these lazy animals. Have you ever seen a sloth quickly move? No? Good me neither. Sloths what can you say about them? They move slowly and are extremely beloved by most of human kind. But now I see them every single day, I have to take care of the little fuckers. These slow animals are rather irritating. They smell, are really clingy (one of the sloths hangs around my neck most of the time) and if they see food they SLOWLY try to steal it. It's like that scene of Guardians of the Galaxy with Drax who thinks he's invisible because he moves really slowly. I nicknamed that sloth Drax. God help me what am I doing with my life, working in a zoo, taking care of sloths. I'm the main caretaker of these long-limbed-slow-animal.
But one day these weirdos were 'misbehaving'. One of my colleagues was sick so I had to feed the polar beers, the complete opposite of my usual suspects. Apparently my little friends cannot handle a different person in their habitat, than they're used to. So I got a call that my sloths where "Usain Bolting in their lining space.". I had a big gulp of water in my mouth at the moment. Let's say I emptied my mouth in a split second. I of course didn't believe that the animals where speeding through their cage, god did I wish I saw that with my own eyes. Luckily I had a video to reflect on, I watched the video he had send nonstop laughing my ass off.
But my colleague was in absolute shock and you could hear that over the phone. So yeah, ran through half to zoo to make sure that the animals I love and hate so much at the same time where alright, at the end of the say if something bad happens to the it's my fault.
We (me and my colleague) decided to inform our boss about this incident or new found quality of sloths. After we reported this an let him watch the video he was socked, who wouldn't be. Fucking sloths where moving like formula 1 cars. But he wanted to see this with his own eyes. So the three of us made our way to the sloths, opened the door. Nothing happened, Drax came slothing towards me spreading his arms making clear he needed some affection. So, while I had Drax in my arms we discussed this matter and decides that somewhere next week one of them would open their cage alone. I can assure you this went horribly wrong.
When the day of 'can sloth really be fast fuckers' arrived. I had to feed the penguins. Penguins just as overrated as sloths, but god, these smell horrible. I think my nose died that day. My boss went to the sloths, opened the gate and surprise surprise they behaved like Usain fucking Bolt yet again. But well as stupid as the boss-man is he left the gate open. So, we had speedy sloths in the zoo. Guess who needed to collect them. Exactly me.
When Drax saw me after 5 minutes of running trough the park the little guy screeched which caught my attention. And since the little guy is the leader of the clan, I had in no time 6 sloth shuffling on human walking speed, like they where terrified of this world outside their habitat, behind me. Drax stood up straight with his arms wide after around 5 minutes of walking, we had to walk through the whole damn park to get them home, wanting a hug yet again.
