My Life In Solitud

chapter 2

During the following years to that conversation I felt that Andrew was drifting away although nothing had change, Annie thought that taking me to parties and meet boys would help, so I agree to it, she use to say that this was our time to have fun and certainly the moment came when I thought I did forgot about Andrew,  when I started dating Thomas but it didn't last long, then it was Frank who cheated on me with his best friend because I didn't want to have sex with him and so the parade of boyfriends began, there was the bad boy, the asshol, the good but boring guy, the I want what I can't have boy, even the mamas boy , but non of them mattered once Andrew returned home from the university  my feelings returned in overwhelming waves.

We use to spent our nights in the living room talking about everything and nothing, what he was learning, the parties that he had , my latest breakup,  my ideas for the future , the way the world suck and the way it didn't, we existed in our perfect  simple bubble and I was happy.

It seemed that even Martin and Julia new that those hours were for his son and me , it was like time stopped for us, those hours were the best of my days I witnessed how he  was becoming  a man and of course I felt more in love every day I was with him, it was inevitable; When I talked to him and told him about me he listened like his life depended on it.

So when it was my turn to go to college, I decided to follow my father's steps studying administration so I could take my place in my family's company.

It was the most difficult decision to take, because everything in me wanted to go to University with Andrew but I was not Accepted, it turns out that they really take extracurricular activities into account, so it was the state university for a year and I can reapply. Annie entered to one of the best universities in the country about 6 hours from here; I would spend a year striving to be accepted at Andrew's University. while I was grateful to have some family in the Daguers, although Annie and I were no longer the same girls who promised to always be best friends, we had become sisters and that includes fights like sisters , but I was sure nothing and no one would change us not the distance or the different goals that eachother had , nor my permanent love for Andrew or her undenible love for love.

The months passed in the blink of an eye, I spent days working and struggling to have a better curriculum to send to be accepted but time does not forgive and suddenly I found myself excited about Christmas break, as every year I'm in the kitchen helping Julia with dinner before Annie and Andrew arrive - I assume that the Ramirez confirmed their attendance right? - I ask although it is tradition since my parents lived that the 3 families meet for these dates ,I do not feel like seeing Gabe after last  year he was so drunk that he vomit on my plate - of course they  did and Sue tells me that Gabe is much better - I notice her doubting before continuing - Mila, have you talked to Andrew these days? - she asks me with her motherly voice that I love when it is use to encourage me and I hate it when it was use to scold me - I few weeks a go- I answer naturally without showing my sadness about the fact that we have not talked for 2 weeks and 3 days - he has been very busy and me too, but I have talked to Annie and she told me that some friends are coming - I say without much importance, but looking at her face I wonder if there is something that they have not told me - what is it? - she just shakes her head and denies - it's just that ..... Andrew told me that he wanted to introduce us to a girl- she says avoiding my gaze- I just don't want you to be...... unprepared ... - and without another word she  leaves the kitchen to scold Martin about something.

What this tells me is that I have officially become the girl obsessed with Andrew, never in all the years I've been with the Daguer Julia has mentioned anything about what I feel for Andrew, I always thought they didn't know but I guess they have always known.
For the rest of the day I keep myself busy to avoid thinking or feeling and by the time the doorbell rings I am so exhausted that all I want or care about is sleeping, that sensation changes quickly when I see Andrew crossing the threshold of the door, I feel my smile extend on my face without my permission until I notice that his hand is intertwined with someone elses, whom able to see a second later, the girl is pretty but her smile i dont belive it to be sincere me sincere, I divide to run to hug Andrew as every time I see him but he cutsme off to introduce Jane with her parents avoiding my approach which causes me to stay awkwardly still next to de Daguers.
I greet the girl who introduce herself as Jane and then I dedicate my attention to John the newest friend of  Andrew who didn't have a problem with placesing his hand too low and too long on my hip, I was so uncomfortable that I avoid him for the rest of the night.
When Andrew finally pays attention to me he only kisses me on the cheek like I was a distant cousin and then he returns to place his attention and hands on Jane, I don't have time to analyze what happened because Annie enters  kissing a very handsome boy while pushing him inside the house, they are followed by 2 girls which are presented as Kitty and Kendra, Annie's new boyfriend introduces himself as Dave while dragging another boy whom he introduces as Daniel, his younger brother who greets me with a sincere smile but with the wink that Annie gives me, I begin to doubt the intentions of Annie.
Mike and Sus Ramirez and his children, Gabe and Sandro, show up after an hour of small talk between all of the guests and the Daguers and for single moment I can see everyone of them being happy, talking , joking around and I found myself out of everything I don't fit with Annie and her boyfriend that are eating their faces, I'm not able to go to Andrew and Jane who are exchanging stories about how they meet with Daniel and Kitty , kendra and John are talking to Gabe and Sandro about how their plans to go to Italy just disappeared and finally are Julia , Martin and the Ramirez hugging and catching up , a feeling of loneliness started to show when I found myself as an unintentional outsider , I fight hard to mingle and try to forget about that sensation.
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