Good Gone Bad - COMPLETE

chapter twenty

Jaxon

"I'm home," I whisper into Stella's ear, giving it a quick nibble before completely burying my head into her shoulder. Fuck was it ever good to be in her arms again. After taking a quick visual scan of Stella, I've noticed nothing has really changed, except for the growing bags under her eyes due to lack of sleep. Has she really been as okay as she claims she has? I guess I had the circles to prove my sleep deprived ass as well, so we were even.

She rises for a second on her toes to kiss my cheek, before grabbing my hands and gaining my attention. "Can we talk, Jax? Upstairs?" I give her a desperate nod, and it's because we really need to sort some shit out. As much as I was ecstatic to see her, that couldn't last forever. She plops onto the bed and I stand in between her legs, looking down at her. I watch as her chest rises and falls in sync with the thumps of my heart. She was just as uneasy as I was, which made me feel a lot better. I decide it's best for myself to start, so I gulp down the bile in my throat and begin.

"Why didn't you show up today, Elle?" I quietly and calmly ask her. I wasn't mad, just hurt.

She sighs, "I know I should've and you have every right to be upset with me, but I couldn't. Not after our conversation yesterday and not after that...girl." The consistent voice cracks are a clear signal that the tears will be coming soon, so I should prepare myself. I did not want to cry, not now. I need to be strong, for us both. I gather her hands in one of mine, soothing them with gentle strokes of my thumb.

"I'm not mad, Elle. I'm just disappointed. I know...I get that it's hard, but she confessed today that she was lying. She's locked away for a long fucking time baby, trust me." I notice the relief fill her eyes until they're fully dilated and that proves to me that Stella Spade is still in love with me. My biggest fear has been debunked to a conspiracy. All at once, the breakdown comes and hits me at full speed.

"I'm so, so sorry I didn't fully believe you Jaxon. You have no idea how much I wanted to I just—she sniffles and catches her breath, while the flow continues down her pink cheeks—she looked so broken inside. There was no doubt in my mind that you'd rape her, I believed you would never do that. I just had a feeling something happened between you and her and I..."

"Shhh," I pull her body into mine, just holding her in complete silence except for Elle's crucifying cries.

"What's wrong with us, Jax? Why can't we be normal?"

I almost laugh, but just smile sympathetically at her. "We will never be normal Stella. That's just us."

"But it's not healthy," she continues on and I catch onto what she's doing to herself. She's trying to convince her mind that we are not going to survive this together, and that we are better off separate. The last thing I need right now is the only thing keeping me breathing to leave me be, and force me to fend for myself. If I'm being completely honest, I wouldn't live through that. If something would ever happen to Stella and I, I'd be dead. I wouldn't care, because a life without her is like living a life with no light. "Stella..."

"I think, we should take a break Jaxon. We need it," she instantly stops crying, as if this is her medicine. My heart sinks. A break? What does she mean by 'break'? One night, one week, a month? None of these options seem the slightest bit appealing to me and before I let her mind wander, I decide I need to get the idea out of her head. I sit down on the bed beside her.

"That's nonsense Stella and you know it. We've healed from all these other bumps in the road and frankly, this is just another. So please, let's just work this out together, yes? I think separating for a bit is just a bad idea on both ends." She nods her head a few times before letting out a faint laugh, and I would missed it if I wasn't staring at her.