The Boy Who Stopped Fighting

Copyright © 2012             

                “Stupid friends, stupid life and stupid me.” He kicked the gravel on the road while muttering under his breath.

                “Why did I trust them?” he asked no one in particular, looking up at the dull sky as if it would open up and provide him with the answers in wanted. He checked his phone to find ten unread messages.

                “Hey Sissy! I’ve a friend who might be interested in you as well”

                “You’re a freak who shouldn’t be around"

                “Go and die!”

                He didn’t have to read the rest to get their message. He hated his life right now. Just when he thought his day could not get any worse, the sky released a thunderous clap and started pelting down. The icy cold water sprayed against his face—washing it, making his cuts burn, putting him in more pain.

                He had the perfect life every one dreamed of—perfect grades, star quarterback on his football team, had his own group of friends and girls panting after him. But the problem was, he wasn’t interested in girls and felt bad keeping a secret about it. No one knows of this secret of his, and he plans to keep it that way. Until one day, he blurted out his secret to his friend, Jake. He thought Jake would be cool about it, but boy he was wrong.

                That’s when things started going downhill.

                He opened the front door of his house and was tackled by a familiar blonde. She hugged him tightly and he winced in pain when she pressed on his bruise. The tiny reaction did not go unnoticed by her sharp eyes. She gasped loudly when she pulled back and saw his messed up face.

                “Dan! Did they do that to you?” she asked angrily. What was he going to say, if he said Jake and his ‘friends’ did it, Kristy will be sure to go after them. And he didn’t want to be a burden anymore.

                “No.”

              The twitch in his right eye was a sign that he was lying and Kristy felt her blood boiling. They had no right to do that to him, whether he’s gay or not. Then looking back at his wounds, her gaze softened and she led him into the living room when she cleaned his wound.

           They had known each other since birth as their parents were good friends and they were neighbours. She looked at his sharp nose and perfect full lips and sighed. She never thought that he would be gay and she wasn’t going to judge him either; afterall he was still her best friend.

               He was still the same person whom she has known since birth, the same person who she had a crush on since the age of eight.

             He stared at her face, her eyebrows furrowed as if deep in thought. What if he wasn’t gay, will she still be stressed? What if he didn’t tell Jake his secret, will he still have a high school life? What if, what if he wasn’t around, will everyone’s life be happier? There were too many 'What ifs' to be listed.

          Just then, she looked up and caught his cold grey eyes with her warm hazel ones. He reached forward and engulfed her in a hug; she sat there stunned for a moment before returning it. Up till now, even when she found out that he was never going to like her in that way; her heart still skipped a beat whenever she sees him. Or whenever he hugged her. She buried her nose into the crook of his neck and relaxed in his warmth, even if it was for just a moment.

          “Thank you for always being there for me” he whispered, not knowing how to express his gratitude. After one last tight squeeze, he released her and said “It’s getting late. Your parents won’t appreciate it if you stay too long.”

            If she sensed something was wrong, she did not comment. She left his house walking along the pavement, deep in thought, trying to find a plan to bring Dan out his depression and to stop bullying. Something bad was going to happen, she thought, she had a nagging feeling at the back of her head but pushed it away.

         He watched her walk back to her house from his bedroom window. Seeing her tensed features, he can’t help but wish that she would stop worrying about him. His depression was coming back, he could feel it.

            He felt very tired suddenly, tired of all the drama, tired of all the bullying and most of all, he was tired of fighting. There’s a limit to everything and he has reached his limit. Why fight so hard when no one was going to accept him and leave him as he is.

           Dear Kristy, Thank you for all the times you tried to save me, my life. Sometimes I just don’t have the strength to carry on; I’m too tired to continue fighting. It is so much easier to just give up.

         He started writing, it was his solace. He sat by the bay window, watching everything going on outside. His tears made a tiny splat on his notes, smudging the words a little. Somewhere deep down in his heart, he knew these notes that he wrote everyday addressed to certain people, might be found someday and everyone would be able to see him inside out but he didn’t care.

          And while she was trying to find a way to stop the bullying and save her best friend and crush, she did not notice the boy sitting at his window, with silent tears of depression.

          Neither did she know that that was going to be the last time they were ever going to meet.

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