#KILLME2

Chapter 10

#KILLME2

By: theinkslingerr

Chapter 10

I couldn't sleep that night. All I could think about was Liam and Maya driving to the movie theater in the next town to make out in public. When I bumped into Finley after Liam's funeral, I'd wondered if he knew, so why hadn't he told me then? Why not include that in the slideshow?

After a very awkward "Goodnight," I'd let Finley leave without harassing him for details I desperately wanted, then went into my apartment. I didn't have to greet my mom, because she was snoring on the couch, so I went straight to my room. In a daze, I stared at my dress form in the corner. It was still draped with the dress I'd started making for Maya, because I hadn't had the heart to throw out such a beautiful garment. Or maybe a part of me was still hoping to give it to her someday.

I stomped up to the dress form and ripped the delicate fabric off. Seams tore, pins fell out. I tossed it in my waste basket, but unfortunately the weight in my chest didn't go with it.

I'd never talk to her again, so there was no point in holding onto the dress. I couldn't even stomach the idea of reusing the fabric— I just wanted it gone. I'd be better off spending my time making stuff for people who actually deserved it. Flopping on my bed, still wearing my sneakers, I stared up at my blank ceiling with dry eyes. I'd cried so much in the past few weeks, my tear ducts must've been on strike. But my head was throbbing with all the information it'd taken in today. Like the fact that Finley was even weirder and more confusing than I'd thought. I'd never met anyone like him before. He was beyond cocky about his intelligence, but sometimes it seemed purposeful and sometimes it didn't. And in the grand scheme of things, he cared about bad things happening to those he considered "good people," while simultaneously being calloused about social etiquette or anyone's immediate feelings.

All of that wasn't even taking into consideration his weird preoccupation with the way I smelled, and how it was physically impossible for him to piece together a coherent compliment.

I finally slipped off my shoes and glanced at the wilting sunflower in the glass on my dresser.

It was scary. I hadn't known Liam and I didn't know the person who was helping me right now.

Thank god for Ross, I thought. Maybe he could give me some insight into the mind of Finley Klepacki, because it didn't look like I was going to find out any other way.

The next day, I survived all my classes by keeping my head down and my hoodie up. I avoided people who wanted to talk to me, but found it hard not to confront Maya about the latest development in her and Liam's betrayal. Because of the texts, I already knew they hadn't kept their relationship to the confines of their bedrooms, but hearing that Finley caught them on a date burned me up. It made things feel more...deliberate if that made any sense.

Where was my stupid self during all this? Binge eating? Watching Project: Runway? Trying to stop my mom from ordering everything she saw on QVC? Why hadn't I thought it was suspicious that sometimes neither could hang?

Hindsight really was 20/20.

By lunch, my brain was numb from spinning scenarios about all the times Maya and Liam had probably lied to me to get together. And aside from not getting any sleep, I was exhausted from holding myself back every time I saw Ava Rodriguez strut down the hallway. I was drained from holding my tongue around Kash Chowdhury, this smooth-talking Pakistani boy in my trig class who may have hated me for reasons unknown. I wanted to ignore Finley's warning and confront every single person Ross had entered into our spreadsheet, but in the end chose not to jeopardize Finley's "investigation". He said he'd talk to them today, and I wanted him to find the right person.