Not really.......

Ahhhhh

Craig's POV

I have to sort this out I am not gay and Tweek and I are not together.
Jesus Christ who do the Asian girls think they are?!

They can't decide who's gay and who's not and why me? Why me?
Out of all the boys in our grade it just had to be me.

Ever since I was younger everyone just assumed I was gay for some reason. It died down for a while but then they just had to bring it back.
And what if my dad believes it's true?
Shit.

There they are.
"Excuse me why are you doing this?" I ask trying not to sound to angry. If I scare them they might make it worse as payback.
"Oh hi Craig." One of them greets me in an annoyingly casual way.
Then you'll never guess what.
She has the nerve to just speak in some sort of language  that I don't understand and have no desire to.

"What, what the fuck did she say?"
No answer.
"I don't know that was Korean I'm Japanese." A different girl says.
Ugh this is going nowhere. I don't even get an answer to why they are doing it.
I was about to walk away but then a voice came up next to me.

"What is going on huh? M-Me and him aren't together why is this happening!?" I glanced in his direction for a few seconds and he is literally pulling his hair probably from stress.
Well I'd probably be doing the same if I wasn't such an emotionless asshole.

"Everyone thinks I'm GAY! WHAT IF MY PARENTS FIND OUT Ah"
Wow he's like really worked up about this. Even I don't care that much. What's so bad about being with me anyway?

He's tugging at his shirt which is already not buttoned up properly.
He's undone like 2 buttons now and his stomach is even more exposed.
Not to mention that it's somehow got higher so you can see his lower area on his stomach.
I don't know why I'm even paying attention to that or looking. The Asian girls aren't.

"Tweek, Craig report to the principals office."
"Fuck" we say in unison.
The Asian girls start to talk to each other and all turn their pages to start drawing.
What are they up to now?
And more importantly what have I done now?

"So Tweek pretty funny huh." I start to make small talk I feel the need to.
"I g-guess but I have to get this cleared up or my parents will lose their shit."
"Ah so that's why you were all freaked out. I thought it was because they said you're with me." I say not even thinking about the words that came out of my mouth.

"Uhhhh no your n-not a bad guy. It's just that Im not gay, i-it's fine if you are I don't think there's anything wrong with it."
What? Oh fuck it sounded like......
God damn it.
"What no I'm not gay either." At least I don't think I am.
"Oh ok" he just left it at that. It's like he just instantly understands, he doesn't bother to question me or anything.
It's like he knew what I wanted.

Before long we are sat in the office of PC principal along with mr Mackey stood there for some unknown reason.
I tried to explain to them that I'm not gay but they said it's completely irrelevant.
Which makes no sense to me at all.

"You would need to say something like 'Craig is it alright with you if I touch your penis' ok now let's try it out."
I glanced at Tweek....in fact no my eyes were glued on Tweek I don't know why I was waiting for him to say it. Did I want him to, or is it because I just find it funny?
"No!" He screeches.
"You want 2 weeks detention instead? This shits important."

Tweek crosses his legs and folds his arms.
"Craig can I give you a blowjob?"
I literally started coughing.
I looked at him and he had a challenging smirk.
Shit is it because he saw that I was waiting for him to say it?
Why aren't I subtle about these things. God damn it.

"Tweek that is highly inappropriate." Mr Mackey almost yells.
"No it's not."
"Yes it is."
"Nope." Wow I knew he wasn't the best behaved but hot damn.
"In what sense is that statement appropriate for school?" Mr Mackey is red with rage.

"We are talking about affirmative sexual consent. I just asked for consent to give Craig a blowjob. I think it's pretty relative and a perfect example."

PC principle sighs but let's it slide.
"Now Craig you could say yes or no."
Tweek looks like he thinks he's won or something but no. We can win together or I will beat him.
"Yes Tweek you can give me a blowjob in fact how about after this is over in the music room." I smirk at his expression. Ha yess 3 points to Craig 1 for Tweek.

Mackey was about to say something but is interrupted by Tweek.
"Wait that's not all Craig can I ride you."
Oh my god he didn't.
But he did.

Again the teachers were about to say something but this time I interrupted.
"Yes Tweek you can ride me but can't have you doing all the work, how would you like a lap dance?" Oh my god we're only 15 we should not know these things. Or at least not openly talk about them like this.

He raises an eyebrow but still continues.
"Yes Craig is love a lap dance how about now?"
Oh he thinks he's won.
"Why not?" Tweek has his mouth hanging open at this response.
I get up out my chair and get right behind his.
I was gonna do something but then mr Mackey spoke up.

"BOYS, boys you may leave and
fufill your.........needs elsewhere."
And with that Tweek gets up and I turn to leave.
Not without giving PC and Mackey my famous finger.

"Nicccceeee." Is all I say when we're out.
"Huh Lap dance Craig didn't think you were the type." Tweek laughs.
"Oh really Tweek ride me? I knew it."
We both look at each other in silence but just burst into laughter.

I could've sworn that I just felt something. It was strange and tingly.
I don't like it.

I'm still a bit pissed off about this whole situation but not as pissed as I was before.
I guess Tweek made it better.
How ironic.
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