Wicked Hunt

Chapter Nine, Part III

Rafe: Watched

Thinking about allowing his pent up rage out of its carefully locked cage made Rafe lean forward in his saddle, urging Lightly to go faster. She raced upon a hill, Red Cliff towering in the distance and beyond that, the Grey Sea. Seeing the cerulean water made him draw up the reins, his breath coming in rough spurts.

His father's hand holding him down. Pressure in his chest. Water rushing into his lungs. Salt choking him. No air. Gasping. Flailing. Sinking. Drowning.

The memories of a childhood punishment in the Taper River had left him scarred and tormented. The sound of water set his teeth grinding, the smell of the salty sea made his stomach churn. Seeing the ocean made his skin crawl as if a heavy weight of anxiety settled upon his chest. Touching the water was out of the question. In an effort to hide his terror, Rafe usually forced his men to take the inland routes when on patrol. All of the port cities had tall walls that hid the ocean. Carez was the only exception. Its wide open position upon the sea made the panic attacks inevitable. All Rafe could do was hide his fear behind a veneer of harshness.

He ignored the sweat leaking down his neck as he took in the coast. He could barely make out a ship with red sails in the distance, docking at Oskast. In a few days, Prince Adrian would be on that ship, sailing back to his kingdom of gold and wealth in Rodantha. Rafe was glad to see him go. He did not like outsiders in Verlic. He shifted on his horse. And yet, one would still remain in the kingdom. Clive's young bride, the consolation prize in the political alliance between Rodantha and Verlic, had become a permanent resident in the highland kingdom. She'd sealed her fate last night when she'd married the king.

Rafe had to admit, he'd been shocked and impressed by the girl's determination to find her way out of the Shadow Wood. He'd seen some men go mad amongst the twisting branches, their mind turning every shadow into some wicked demon.

He shifted in his saddle, memories of the past bleeding into the present. Mira's curious face, shrouded in a curtain of dark hair, blinked up at him. The image wavered, blurring into the princess as she emerged, wide eyed, from the depths of the trees. With her dark hair tangled around her headdress and her cheeks flushed, he'd briefly mistaken her for Mira in the moonlight. Her dress had been torn, and in spite of himself, he had fixed on her exposed leg. He'd found it shapely and more than adequate at leading his mind into forbidden territory. Forgotten passions. Lonely nights. Wasted desires. His job did not allow for such pleasures often. When they did occur, he always felt shameful afterwards.

Rafe shook his head. Restlessness was eating away at his mind. He tried to focus on the upcoming tasks, but his thoughts roamed again, no longer tethered to the king's whims now that he'd left Dunhelm Keep. For all his talk of the princess's weakness, finding her way out of the forest had made her attractive to him, at least in that instant. She should have been rocking back and forth with her knees against her chest. When she'd walked out of the forest like some beacon in white, he'd felt a stirring deep in his stomach. It had made him approach her. Realizing his mistake, he'd sought to flee, but then she'd spoken to him in her breathless, curious voice. He'd felt compelled to speak to her, but then had decided to flee. Seeing Clive in all his finery had shaken some sense into him.

She is hardly more than a child, he scoffed to himself as he gripped Lightly's reins tighter. You were only drawn to her because you haven't been with a woman in months. Satisfied with this conclusion, he allowed his shoulders to relax, but a small voice that usually remained deeply buried within him spoke up quickly making his muscles tense once more.

The only reason you found her so attractive last night was because she reminded you of Mira...

"Get the hell out of my head!" he growled out loud. The sudden noise made Lightly start. She let out a surprised chirp, and Rafe leaned forward to rub her neck.