Crusade

Chapter 5 - Poems and Lost Armour

Merida stared at the door. Why was he shutting her out? He liked her, she could tell, so why would he do this? She put her head in her hands and lay on her bed. Her soul was restless. She couldn't sleep. Not with him outside the door. She rose from the fourposter and went to her desk. She settled herself down and picked up a quill pen.

Merida subconsciously began to write a letter, a poem. Her heart seemed to be spilling over as she wrote; relaying her feelings through ink.

I want you to tell me why you walked out on me.
I'm so lonesome after today.
And since I changed after you walked out on me,
My life has never been the same way.
Walk right back to me this minute,
Your lips, your cheek, just let me kiss it.
The touch of your love, I want to feel it.
I'm so lonesome after today.

Merida put down her quill and let the ink dry. She walked up to the door and pushed it underneath, listening for the rustle that meant Hiccup had taken it. After a moment, she heard it and she sat back on her bed, her head spinning and her stomach doing back flips.

        *  The Other Side of the Door  *

Hiccup placed his head on the cold stone wall and scrunched his face up in anguish. What was he thinking? Why did he leave her like that? He shouldn't have gone - should he? No, he should have. It was better this way. He wasn't giving her any false hope now, they were both better off like this. He was pretty firm in this belief until a piece of parchment made it's way under the door.

Hiccup picked it up with a frown upon his face and began to read. His heart began to race again as Merida's words filled his brain, destroying his judgement he'd been so insistent on inflicting upon himself. She wanted him back and she enjoyed today. With him. Together. Hiccup was battling with his head and his heart. His heart was screaming to get back inside, to kiss her so hard it hurt him, but his head was telling him he couldn't allow himself this satisfaction. But his heart was louder.

Hiccup screwed up his eyes, cursed Odin for what he was about to do, and opened Merida's door. She was sitting on her bed with her head in her hands and there was a tear on her cheek, shining from the candle light.

"Damn it Merida -" Hiccup breathed. He ran across the room desperately, took her into his arms and kissed her hard. His lips had never felt so needy in his life, he pulled her closer and closer almost as if he let her go she'd disappear. She pressed himself against him with equal longing and desire, she held onto him almost desperately. She began to tug at his chainmail, desperate to feel his skin against hers. It took all his inner strength to push her hands from his back.

"Hic, all Ah wan' is ter see yeh withou' yehr armour on." Merida whispered between frantic kisses.

"You drive me insane," Hiccup groaned as he let Merida undo his buckles on his chest armour. Soon he was just in his green tunic that revealed his muscles and toned stomach. She ran her hands over his back, kissing his neck lightly and pulling him as close as he could get. Hiccup seemed to lose his conscience and he lost himself in the heat of the moment.

Pretty soon it wasn't just Hiccup's armour that had been thrown to the floor. His thin green tunic was tugged off by Merida and was added to the pile, along with Merida's dress, leaving her in just her petticoat. Hiccup let out a small moan into her mouth, but realisation crashed in on him and he held her at arms length.

"Merida - we can't do this."

"Hiccup -"

"You don't know how hard this is for me to say," Hiccup murmured between heated kisses, "but we can't. It's not right. We've just met. I don't want to hurt you."

"Hic - Ah understan'. Bu' please, le' me jus'..."

Merida pleaded with him as she rubbed her hands all over his body. Hiccup relished it until his conscience hit him.

"Merida, please."

"Wha'?"

"I don't want you to get into trouble. It's wrong. We're not married."

"Alrigh'." Merida drew away slowly. "Bu' nae doin' anythin' with yeh will nae lessen my affection fer yeh."

"You think I don't want to?" Hiccup almost laughed as he slipped his tunic back on. "Merida," he walked up to her, taking her gently into his arms, "I  really like you. In time I may even love you. But I'm confused right now."

"Welcome ter mah worl'," Merida smiled as she planted one more kiss upon his lips. Hiccup cupped her face in his hands and pressed his lips upon hers again.

"If we were married and I wasn't going to be sent off to battle, yes, any day. But I can't. Not yet. I need to know you better, for a start."

Merida nodded.

"Ter be honest, Ah wasn' sure aboot it either."

"You're a -?" Hiccup started slowly and Merida nodded.

"Ah'm sorry. Ah did nae mean ter -"

"It's okay," Hiccup soothed, buckling up his armour and kissing her softly again. "I let myself back inside. It was my fault too."

"Nae," Merida replied, "it was me. Ah persuaded yeh."

"Once we're better friends - and we know each other well, I'm yours." Hiccup let go of her unwillingly. "But for the moment -"

"Hic -" Merida smiled, "Ah un'erstan'." She began to pull her dress over her head, but it got stuck. "Um," she mumbled shyly, "a li''le hel' here?"

Hiccup laughed and pulled the dress down for her gently. Her eyes flickered from the light of the fire and he gazed into them dolefully. How did she manage to be so stunning without trying? That he'd never understand. But at least for this evening, they parted ways happy and satisfied, with questions answered and tender lips.

A/N I'm so sorry for the infrequent updates, it's been kind of confusing with this story. But I did quite enjoy writing this chapter :) The poem Merida writes is basically Walk Right Back by the Everly Brothers with twisted lyrics. I'm singing it for a local show and I thought it fitted really well.