jasmine flutes ; rants and misc.

welcome to the rant and misc page on my prestige wattpad acc. unfortunately, i've been so missing in action, that i feel like i haven't reflected my personality to y'all. so i'd like to introduce myself. my name is aria jayadevan, i'm a badass scorpio, i'm almost finished with high school, and my dream school is northwestern in chicago!
i want to get a nursing degree and specialize in gynecology, and later on i hope to go to school and major in english and literature, and then try to to pursue film school.

i like to consider myself an inter-sectional feminist. i'm extremely passionate about speaking about women's rights and education. I'm also an advocate for the lgbtq+ and a bisexual badass. I'm also a huge racial justice advocate, I volunteer with a radio station that contributes to black lives matter, immigrants of all races, as well equity in communities.

this is my third time on wattpad. yes, i've been here on wattpad over t h r e e times, over the course of five years. i left for different reasons each time, but they all ended up in me further improving my mental health and feeling a sense of hope once again. I don't blame wattpad for me leaving.

i'm an east indian american, meaning my parents are from india. i'm a first generation american, and i find that i love mixing the good of both my indian and american heritage. when i joined wattpad almost two years ago the last time, i was engulfed with the indian community of writers. It gave me a sense of purpose, so that i could enjoy both sides of my culture, however, i came to find that this community of writers was extremely entitled and were obsessed with novels in which a cast was portrayed.

especially for someone like me, i find that literature has no bounds, it has no gender, and it should include ones passion. being apart of that indian community held me back from penning work that meant something. a lot of the indian work that i read on here is rather regressive, and as a progressive peepee, i really needed somewhere to channel my work.

and two years later, i decided to try it again, this time with no bounds, gender, ethnicity, and i'm here to channel my passions as a writer. I want to create work with meaning, with emotion, something that will make you laugh and cry all in one. literature isn't a box, literature is incredible in the way that you can do absolutely anything you please. it's a tool that allows you to express and communicate meaning, and that's what i want it to be, for everyone.

i'm absolutely o b s e s s e d with the 90's, the aesthetic, the music, the fashion, literally everything. i love eminem, the fugees, a-ha, naked eyes, janet and michael jackson, george michaels, etc. i'm also in love with ariana grande and zendaya because they do things to my heart. i'm a rap fanatic, i love rae shremmurd, anime, post malone, trippie red, etc. 

I'm also a makeup artist. i'm no mua, lemme tell you, but i absolutely love makeup and the creativity you possess, similarly with writing, i'm also a watercolor artist, and i paint way too much for my own good. i'm also a dancer and choreographer.

i'm extremely sensitive, and an absolute sap. I cry a lot and probably at everything. i'm also a political loud mouth. i'm a speech and debater (is that a word?) a volunteer club person, a student representative of under privileged communities, and stuff like that.

recently, i did something insane over the summer. I shaved my entire head, and so now i have some sort of a bob cut/ pixie cut, and that really lets my obsession for 90's aesthetic shine. I love anklets and neck jewlery.

i'm a little bit crazy, if i may say so. I'm the loudest mouth, i dance any chance i get, i giggle loudly, i have an obsession with pizza and french fries, i just love being myself. i'm not confident but i always believe that you fake it until you make it. i'm someone who needs to hype myself up.

e m i n e m, the marshall mathers, absolutely owns my heart. at first glance, i don't look like the rap, cuss word, type girl, but eminem and slim shady have literally gotten me through middle and high school so far and, i just love. i mean l o v e his music. if yall wanna fan girl, just dm me and i could literally talk about his music for hours.

i find that i'm quite lazy, and i think we can all relate when i say this, but i am the d e f i n i t i o n of lazy. i literally do not have a source of income, i sit on my butt and eat a lot fries while watching this is us on nbc, i don't take care of my skin, and i drink w aaaa y too much coffee for my own good. often times, people will over exaggerate their level of laziness, but lemme tell you, in no way am I exaggerating. I kid you not when I say I haven't done anything in the last seven weeks of my life, and I am so freaking close to graduating y'all.

my purpose, this time, here on wattpad, is to show this community, this world, that literature does not, and should not, have any bounds. Literature is meant to allow us to create, to communicate, to share, and to experience things that we haven't been able to. It is a way to let go of what holds us back, it is a way to sympathize and empathize with others stories. Our world sinks deeper and deeper into placing limits on what we can and can't do. That's not what literature is. I want to turn wattpad back into a site of literature, a site of sharing, a site of communication and experience, and not one full of toxic fandoms, Books with stapled casts in order to impress a fandom, judging a book by its cover, insulting creators for their stories and work, etc.

And don't get me wrong, I'm also a huge fan girl, I stan incredible people, I love creators and what they do. i think our love for creators is part of our identity, but it shouldn't hold us back from having an open mind, and being open to new experiences. i hope that my intentions for coming back are at least somewhat fulfilled, because I really, really, love wattpad. 

I first joined wattpad in 2015, where I was in a point in my life where I was so incredibly hurt, lost, and heavily traumatized. wattpad was an escape for me, it allowed me to be someone I wasn't. Being someone I wasn't had perks. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but my most famous work, "Fire Meets Gasoline," had over 4 million views, 100K votes, and some amount of comments. Deleting that novel, deleting that account, was the hardest, but the best decision I've ever made in my entire life. faking your way through literature, through society, through interactions and friendships, is so exhausting. I tried it two more times, but ended falling pray to the beautiful poison of fame. I ended up reactivating that account so many times because I missed the way a diluted image tasted. At the end of the day, however, I made an important decision.

I dropped myself from that negative image. I took a two year break, finally learned a little bit about myself, my passions, and my purpose. I don't still really know everything about myself, my passions, and my purpose even today, but I know that being someone I'm not, engaging in drama and controversy simply for the fame, the likes, and the comments, rehashing old wounds, stirring up more drama and involving myself in drama that doesn't concern me, puts a restriction, harms what I truly love to do, which is write.

this time, I'm going to do it differently. i can't wait for you all to see the real me. i love you all so deeply.

- aria