Accidentally on Purpose

Chapter Fifty-Nine

I took a deep breath, took another two, and closed my eyes.

"Ready?" Gina and Bey asked at the same time. I opened my eyes and nodded.

"I guess." I gave them a nervous smile. I didn't know what to expect from this.

"Just give me a call if you need a ride like the last time, okay?" Gina said. "I'm sure it won't happen though."

I nodded at her. "Hopefully, yeah. But I'll let you know if anything happens."

"Okay." She and Bey looked at each other for a while, barely containing their excitement.

"Wish me luck, okay?" I told them, before opening the door and getting out of the car. Both girls gave me a thumbs up and I returned it before turning around and walking into the field.

Jonah wasn't there yet, so I waited by the river. I looked around and thought about the birthday date we had here, and then frowned to myself because today was Jonah's birthday and I still didn't know what I should get him.

Would he be mad if he knew that I'd forgotten about it?

Ten minutes passed and there was still no sign of Jonah, so I stood up from where I was sitting and started walking around, picking up fallen leaves from the ground and tearing them apart little by little because I was bored. Ten turned to twenty, twenty turned to thirty, and when it turned to forty-five, I began to pace back and forth nervously.

Where was Jonah?

I tightened my coat around me, because despite the fact that it was pretty sunny, the wind was still too cold. My nose started to feel frozen, and I kept pinching it to get some feelings back on the skin.

Negative thoughts flooded into my brain when I realized that an hour had passed and I was still all alone in his hiding place. I finally tried calling him, but his phone was off, so I began to feel worried.

Why wasn't he coming? Should I keep waiting on him?

I realized then that this must be what he had felt when I stood him up a few days ago. He had waited on me for hours and I never came without telling him why. Was he doing this on purpose, so I could feel what he'd felt to wait for someone who would never come?

If he really was, then why?

Another part of me was worried that something had happened, but I knew it was just me being paranoid. Was he really standing me up? Should I stay longer or should I just go home? I debated with myself for a while, before sighing and started to dial Gina's number with a heavy heart.

I chose to go home.

She picked up within the first ring. "How was it? How was it? How was it?" she asked excitedly.

I didn't say anything. I couldn't, really.

"Hannah?" her voice quickly turned worried. "Is he..." she trailed off. "He didn't come, did he?"

I shook my head sadly. "Please just pick me up," I told her quietly. I started to feel like I was drowning and it was hard for me to breathe.

"Okay," she replied softly, and I heard a rustling sound and her car keys clinking.

I thought I heard noises behind me, but I shook that feeling off. Gina was still on the phone talking to me and trying to cheer me up, but honestly, I wasn't even listening to her. I didn't know where my head was at this time.

But then I heard someone calling my name, and it wasn't her voice.

I turned around and the phone against my ear almost fell to the ground. My jaw dropped open, and after a few seconds of looking like an idiot, I closed it, and quickly said to Gina, "Hey, Gina, never mind. Don't pick me up. I'll call you later, love you."