Drunk. The only thing I seemed to be these days. If I wasn't drunk then you would find me with glossed over red eyes, holding a joint in my hand.
This Friday was like all the other ones before it. I sat slumped, lazily taking a couple puffs on the joint that was making its way around the large circle of people I was with. This weekend I decided to take a break from the usual frat parties I frequented and popped over to a friends house for our normal smoke session.
30 minutes later loud music was pouring from the speakers and more and more people starting showing up. It became apparent that this little get together was turning into a full blown party but I decided to finish the joint we'd sparked before leaving.
"Who's ready for some shots?!" Stephanie, one of my best friends asked while already filling up the numerous shot glasses that were strewn about on the coffee table.
A couple hollers and a smattering of "yes"s filled the small house. The party goers gathered around the table to grab their alcohol and quickly throw back the harsh liquid.
"Hope, I know you want one too. Look I saved the biggest ones for us," Stephanie held out a glass filled to the brim towards me.
"You know me so well," I laughed grabbing the shot. We clinked glasses and soon the taste of cheap mango flavored vodka was burning my throat.
Great now you're drunk and high. How do plan on leaving now? Shoving those thoughts to the back of my head I got up on tipsy feet.
"I'm going to go smoke a cigarette outside," my words came out mumbled but Stephanie still heard me over the loud conversation and thumping music.
"I'll join you," she quickly got up and followed me out the screen door into the cold night.
Once the fall air hit me I sobered up a little and we made our way to the chairs set up in the driveway. The party was a muffled sound behind us. I felt like I could finally hear myself think.
Fumbling with my lighter I eventually got my cigarette lit and took a long inhale. The smoke billowed out into the night. Next to me Stephanie took a swig of the flask she always had with her and lit a cigarette of her own.
"That guy we were talking to earlier was cute," she commented twirling a piece of red hair around her finger.
If I was honest I could barely remember his name. "Get his number then, it's not like he'll say no to you," my slurred voice laughed out.
It was true, my friend was beautiful and in the couple months that we'd know each other she'd manage to get a number from any guy she wanted. Didn't matter if we were at a party, at a taco bell at 3 in the morning, or hungover and looking a mess. She usually flicked on her charm and they were eating out of her manicured hands. I didn't do too bad myself but I wasn't interested in getting with someone. In all honesty I was just interested in getting fucked up.
The loud slam of the screen door interrupted our conversation. Looking up I saw the boy we were talking to earlier and his friend start walking towards us. Not interested I grabbed Stephanie's flask to gulp down whatever alcohol was inside. Taking another drag of my cigarette I heard my friend call out a greeting to the boys, who had almost reached us.
"Hi Dylan," she called out next to me. So that was his name. I absentmindedly chewed my lip while the 3 of them talked.
"So what brings you out here Hope?" The sound of my name shook me out of my daydream. I looked up to see Dylan's eyes on me. They looked slightly glossed over and I could tell by his red cheeks and ears he was a couple shots in.
"Just needed some fresh air, what about you guys?" I smiled softly and died out my now finished cigarette in the large can next to our feet.
"Well actually I followed you out here to get your number," Dylan shyly rubbed the back of his head and smiled at me while his friend nodded approvingly.
I took a quick peek at Stephanie's face. She looked a little sad but shrugged and nodded at me nonetheless. Remembering he mentioned he knew a plug for some of the harder stuff we occasionally indulged in I smiled sweetly and rattled off my number.
•••
authors note:
this story is going to be a little hard to write considering it's based on a painful time in my life but i hope it's enjoyable!
10/9/19
