Love the Other Half

Red Zone

          After Dwight and I left Alexandria, we headed to the Sanctuary and told Daryl about Maggie and the baby. Daryl ended up riding back to Hilltop with Dwight and I, so that he could see Maggie and Hershel.

           The gates opened and we three rode into the community. I immediately see Maggie on the balcony with Hershel in her arms. I smile up at her.

          Dwight and I put our horses up and walked into the main house and up to the balcony. I squealed when I get closer to Hershel. "How are you both doing?" I ask Maggie. Maggie looks at me and smiles. Her smile gets bigger when she sees that Daryl is behind me. "We're good. It took him a minute to latch on, but he finally got the hang of it." Maggie says. I smile at her and then down to Hershel.

          I looked between Maggie and Hershel and cleared my throat. "Mag?" I say to Maggie. Maggie looks at me and smiles. "May I?" I ask her. I extend my arms and Maggie smiles at me. She nods her head and gently lays Hershel in my arms. I make sure to keep his head up and I smile down at him. "Hey, little man. You are just too precious." I say in a gentle whisper to Hershel.

          I look up and see Dwight, Daryl and Maggie looking at me with a smile. "He's so little." I say to them. They all chuckle at me and just watch me rock Hershel as I whisper stuff to him. As I'm looking down at this innocent little baby, my thoughts go to my son. The son I gave up. The son I haven't seen in so long. I feel a tear sliding down my face. I clear my throat and stand closer to Maggie. Putting her son back in her arms. I don't bother looking up, hoping that no one sees the tear.

          After Hershel was safely in Maggie's arms, I push past Daryl and Dwight and head down to my trailer. I step into the trailer and sit on the edge of the bed. Not too long after, I hear the door to the trailer open and close. I was looking down at the floor when I see a pair of boots come in my view. I slowly look up and see Dwight with sadness in his eyes. "You thought of him, huh?" Dwight asks me. I nod my head.

            Dwight sits down next to me and puts his hand on my thigh and lightly squeezes. "I mean... I think of him all the time. But, for some reason holding Hershel... I really wanted to squeeze him to my chest and cry." I say to Dwight. Dwight grabs my hand and brings it up to his lips and kisses it. I look into his eyes and he smiles at me. "He is our son. No matter what, no matter where he is... he will always be with us. Always. It's okay to get sad. It's okay to miss him." Dwight says to me. I hear his voice crack. "I never even met him, but I love him like you wouldn't believe." I let out a sob when Dwight says that.

           I reach around him and bring him in for a hug. There will forever be a part of me that feels guilty. Even though I never intended for any of this to happen. "I'm sorry, Dwight." I say into Dwight's shoulder. Dwight rubs my back and I feel him shake his head. "Don't be. Don't you ever be." Dwight says even though his voice is muffled against my shoulder.

          I close my eyes and I debate on whether I should tell Dwight about the baby. I can't be more than 2 months and that means I'm not out of the red zone, yet, but I don't want to go through this pregnancy alone. Even if it's only for a month. After I go through the options in my head, I finally agree on one. I take a deep breath and sigh.

          I pull out of the hug and look into Dwight's eyes. "We need to lighten up this trailer." I say to Dwight. He lets out a chuckle and strokes my face with his hand. I grab his hand and interlock our fingers. "I'm pregnant." I say to Dwight. Dwight's face freezes and he stares at me. For a second, I really started to worry that maybe he changed his mind on having another child with me. Then it all changes when I see a smile appear on his face. He looks down at my stomach and then back to me. I feel his hand leave mine and touch my stomach.