Not So Simple Feelings

T W E L V E.

Slut.

I'm turning into a slut.

Why the hell did I sleep with Mark?!

I mean what the hell got into me??!

I rubbed my temples as I tried to study the document in front of me but the image of me straddling Mark keeps popping into my head.

This morning was more than awkward.

Okay awkward in the sense that I kinda sorta left before he woke up.

I'm a horrible person! I know!

But, I mean, what was I supposed to do?? I woke up and there he was, right next to me in all his naked glory. I panicked and I did what any rational person would do!

I grabbed clothes, plopped some toothpaste on my tongue, grabbed my cup of coffee and changed in the hallway.

I didn't even shower.

My phone pings with a text and I picked it up, glad for the interruption.

'Hey binsh!'

I rolled my eyes and smiled before texting back.

'Tola'

'What's popping?'

'Prolly parts of my brain. Read the same line seven times on the document I'm trynna study'

The phone pinged again and I picked it up, ready to reply Tola's message; except that the message wasn't from Tola. It was Mark.

'Hey'

I had deleted his number but I'd still recognise it anywhere. Guilt flooded me. He had tried to stop me yesterday after all. I shouldn't have left him this morning. I sighed and started typing out an apology.

'Hey, I'm really sorry for leaving  you this morning. I panicked. Forgive me?'

I had clicked the send button before I realised I had mistakenly sent that to Tola.

Fudge. Fudge. Fudge.

She's going to have my head.

I waited anxiously; phone in hand, for her reply. And then it came

'Via, darling, who diju leave this morning?' I read it in the dark ominous tone she probably typed it in.

I bit my lip. I could lie but I had no idea what lie to tell. So I succumbed and typed the truth. My heart pounding as I did so.

'Umm....Mark?' To say I was scared of Tola was an understatement.

My phone rang almost immediately; Tola's name popping up on the screen. I gulped as I watched the phone ring without picking it.

The ringing stopped and my phone pinged with a test. I hesitantly reached out to pick it up.

"Hey I know you probably panicked this morning. I'm sorry for last night"

It was from Mark.

I bit my lip, thinking about what to reply.

"It's not your fault. I knew what we were doing"

I hesitated before typing again "I don't regret it"

The typing dots appeared on the screen for a while before his message appeared "Dinner at our place on Friday?"

I smiled, he still called it "Our place".

"Wow, seems like I pay you to daydream now doesn't it?"