Strangers In The Night

Chapter 5

Truth. Whole truth.
|Miranda

I was shocked to see the messages on my screen. I knew Shakira would want to talk some time or the other about what happened earlier but I didn't think it would be now. But what troubled me even more was the fact that Fernando wished to speak to me alone after the match. Was I being too obvious back in the dressing room? Did that asshole say something to him? I don't know what was it that he wanted to talk about because the most interaction that I have had with him was via Olalla.

"Goal! Golazo! Show them whose the man Leo!" June said jumping out of her seat.

I lifted my eyes (which were glued to the messages) from my phone screen to see that messi had scored a goal. I was happy for him and the team. This was just the beginning of an eventful champions league match where Barça would prevail over atletico. But I just couldn't express my support and happiness because my mind didn't follow my heart.

My mind was registering this goal. I was physically present at the match. But my heart was wandering about the thought of those messages on the screen and the man from my past who could see the ucl finals slipping from his hands. I don't know why but I was feeling terrible for him.

I looked at him on the field. His eyes were wandering around the stadium. He pursed his lips in a thin line and hung his head down. He placed his hand on his waist and kept shaking his head in frustration. In all the time that I had known him, I knew this action was a clear indication that he had lost all hope of achieving his target. And unless he was given a good moral support he would not change his mind about that.

"Oh how sweet! Mum-He dedicated the goal to us!" June said smiling ear to ear.

I was looking at the field blankly not registering what Leo had done or what my daughter was saying. All I could see was antoine and the feeling of being a failure slowly grabbing him in its clutches.

"Ma! Say something! Are you alright?" June asked shaking me by the shoulders.

"Huh? Were you saying something sweetie?" I said coming out from my thoughts absolutely lost.

"Are you alright? You've been acting weirdly since you returned from the locker room? Is something wrong?" June asked concerned.

"No. Everything is fine." I lie with a fake smile.

"I don't think your words match with the reality. I know a fake smile when i see one. But right now supporting Barça is more important. So I'll believe you." My daughter spoke in a suspicious tone.

It was hurting me to lie to her. She was like my best friend. Hell she was my bestest friend. And I was breaking her trust. I can't believe I was doing this to her. My own daughter! Antoine really did know how to fuck people's lives. Especially mine.

I cared for her the most. For an eight year old june was very smart and would not let go of this issue very easily. So naturally I would have to tell her the truth sometime or the other. But the issue is that I didn't know how to explain my current condition without letting her know about the incidents that occured 8 yrs back. Without getting involved in the details of that terrible night when I lost control and....

Shit! I just can't tell her the truth. It took me years to cover up for certain things and hide some facts about my past from her and some of those things involve secrets about her life as well. It involves answers to all those questions she has about herself and her father. Answers that will tear her apart not only from me but from this bubbly and lively spirit of hers. I'll lose my kids forever and I cannot risk that for what happened between Antoine and me eight years back.

I didn’t answer her back because I didn't know what to say to her. I continued blankly staring at the field. Meanwhile it was half time and Barça had bagged 2 goals in the first half both of which messi had scored. Atletico was struggling and their chances of a victory in this match seemed bleak. I could see the look on Antoine's face and it was breaking my heart. I don't know why I even cared about what he felt after all that he had done to me. I mean I should be happy for Leo, the man I love. Not this imbecile. I just don't know what I was feeling.

As he felt the field my eyes followed him and just when I thought things couldn't get worse, he looked up at the stands. My heart stopped. I was panicking. I didn't know what to do. The colour drained away from my face. I was looking into his eyes and he was looking into mine and I felt as if I had gone back 8 yrs ago.

The last day that we spoke, the last time we held hands,  the last time we kissed and every other blood moment that I was foolish enough to think he was the one, came back to me like daggers stabbing me in the back. The last few moments that the two of us shared together before parting ways promising to never show each other our faces and never trying to contact one another, flashed in front of my eyes. All those numerous tears, all those drunk messages that i never sent. Every feeling of pain and agony that i felt, were still fresh in my heart as if I had discovered all those secrets recently. I was on the brink of crying.

"I am going to by a hotdog. Miranda come with me please." A voice spoke. I Looked away from the field almost instantly to see Shakira standing infront of me. I knew shakira long enough to know where this was leading to. I didn't want to talk about it but she was just not going to drop the topic till she did not get her answers.

"Yeah I'll come." I said already regretting my decision.

Shakira took to a less crowded place which didn't seem to be a hotdog stand for sure. I looked at her confused with my eyebrows knitted.

"Come on spill it out now."

"Spill what out?" I said clearing my voice to sound as normal as possible and to prevent the lump in my throat to give my 'I am fine' act away.

"OK don't act stupid with me. You know perfectly well what I am talking about."

"And you know perfectly well that I don't want to talk about him."

"So it is him. ANTOINE GRIEZMANN is The Mystery Man from eight years back!"

"Urgh! Yeah. But how on earth do you know about him?"

"Miranda I've known your sister since high school and you- since you were a baby. I think I would know about the man who crushed my friends heart."

"Fine but I don't know what's happening to me. I don't know what to feel or say. I don't know how to explain Leo or June any of this."

"I know it's difficult but the question you need to ask your self is who makes you happy. Cause unless you are happy you cant make people around you happy. It's difficult but you must take a call that you won't regret. I am always here for you. You know it."

"But that's the thing I don't know who makes me happy. Like right now even though I am happy for Leo, my heart is bleeding for Antoine because I know what he is going through. I am absolutely divided between the two. And on top of that there's June. In all this madness I don't want to lose her. I love her the most. I can't do anything that will affect her. I just can't. Her happiness is my first priority. I just don't know what to do." I said with my voice filling up. I was trying not to cry but when does anything happen according to what I want. Shakira hugged me tightly and stroked my hair. I wiped my tears and looked at her snuffling my nose.

"I am here for you and June no matter what your decision is but the only advice I am going to give you is to come clean to both. At least Leo. He loves you more than anything in this world. Don't hurt him. Now smile. We have a victory to celebrate soon." Shakira said smiling.

We started walking back to the stands when I stopped at my place. Shakira turned around looking confused.

"There is something you need to know before we go back." I said with serious look on my face. More of a guilty face than sad.

"What?"

"The whole truth of what happened 8 yrs back."