Roads Untraveled (RDR2 Fanfiction)

Chapter 1

I was filled with overwhelming emotions, my breath was unsteady, and my voice was hoarse from the shouting and the crying. My attire was soaked and stained with blood... I... I couldn't believe it but... I did it. I committed the act of killing my father due to his attempt to harm us, more than he already had. He was consumed by intense rage, while I experienced a mix of emotions including pain, fear, and anger. At that moment, I found myself in a grave predicament, completely unaware of the flames encircling me. My vision blurred as my eyes burned, and the air became increasingly suffocating. I had to get out of there. I needed to locate Jane and give her directions on where to go and how to get there if something bad would happen... which it did. I knew I'd be late, it was crucial for me to arrive there before it became too late. Before the boat left without me. But it did. At least she's safely out of this place. Maybe back home in France, or someplace better. Somewhere where Pinkertons and those other sons of bitches wouldn't think to find her, if they're looking for her still, like they're still looking for me. They know I didn't get on that boat. Months went by and as it did, the bounty for my head gets bigger and bigger. That's why I had to hide. Hide my identity while I do what I can to survive. I think it's smart, smart... maybe a little stupid... and extremely dangerous.

But maybe I like it that way. Foolish me.

"Max! Get your stupid lil' head out of that book and pay attention!" I heard Joe tell me, slapping my in the back of the head, a little harshly. I quickly closed it and looked up at him, completely forgetting where I am and what we're supposed to be doing at the moment.

"What kind of boy has a diary? Isn't that a dumb girl thing? Are you a girl, boy?" Joe asked. Well, yes, I'm a girl. But they're never gonna know that. I'm relieved that these individuals are unable to understand French. I make sure to record important details in my journal using that language, as a precautionary measure. I mean, I assume they are not proficient in French. Most of them are idiots.

"No, sir. I'm not a girl." I said to him, I wonder what would happen if they ever found out. Putting my journal away in my bag. Rubbing my arms a little up and down, shivering because of the freezing temperature, even though we're in a little warm house... guess I'm either under dressed or just not used to colder weather. When I was younger I thought snow was amazing. Now I'm not very fond of it.

Joe and some other O'driscolls we were with were just staring at me, making fun of me as they usually do. I have no friends that are O'driscolls. Well, except for Kieran. He and I are kind to each other. He can be considered as a fool, and the same goes for me, but he is genuinely kind. It's peculiar to have Kieran as part of this group at times, he doesn't really fit in as a true O'Driscoll. Neither am I, but we're just doing what we can to get by. Funny story, Kieran and I didn't know each other very well in the beginning. He caught me when I hid somewhere to change, and noticed that I wasn't truly a boy. He didn't see me naked, but he saw me bandaging my chest before quickly throwing on a shirt and vest on. I panicked and ran up to him, I threatened him and said "if you tell anyone, it'll be the last thing you'll do." Right after... strangely, we became friends. I felt bad when I did that, he's sweet. That was two or three weeks after I was captured by Colm's men after the train robbery. I can trust Kieran. It's the rest of the gang I can't trust. Especially Colm. Sometimes he's a little kind, if he gets what he wants. But most of the time, he's cruel. Usually he sends me out to hunt for food, or to steal something, sometimes I come back with something big, sometimes I don't, and he'd punish me for failing, not just me that gets that treatment. Maybe it's different because I'm the youngest, I don't know. I try my butt off to please him so that maybe he won't kill me. He's practically the devil. This one time, last week, I didn't find anything, and Jordan got killed by a pack of wolves, that's what I told him. It's the truth... but before that he got caught on a bear trap and that's when the wolf pack came and I ran off. I came back without Jordan and no game, and blood on my boots. Colm's dissatisfaction resulted in me suffering the consequences, as he struck me with a powerful blow that knocked me down. The impact was so intense that I could still feel the sting now. Each day feels like a constant struggle, a different form of torment, ever since I lost my mother.