I can't stop myself from blushing like an idiot.
"It's late and you have to go home." I continue to insist.
"Why Sam? You don't want to hang out with me?" He pouts.
If he'll continue to act all cute on me i'm going to flip.
"It's late."
"It doesn't scare me." He winks.
I roll my eyes in defeat. I walk to sit beside him, still crossing my arms. He smirks eyeing my every move.
"You want some? I promise I didn't spit on it." He asks as he raises his glass of milk. I chuckle.
"Thanks but no thanks. I can get mine, I'll be right back." After that I headed to the kitchen.
As I enter, the plates that they've used are still in the sink. I swear my mom is more lethargic than me. Did she really cooked though? I must admit, I miss her cooking. Taking a quick visit to memory lane, I miss how our family was still whole and how we'll eat together at the table. I push that thought at the back of my head before I start to sob.
I pour some milk in my glass and grab a bag of chips, right then I head back to the living room. Harry's looking at the tv, but I know he's not paying much attention to it. I ignore him, I turn to the screen, shock hits my face when I realize what he was watching all a long.
"You're watching a cooking show?" I ask. Trying my hardest not to laugh.
"You're mom was watching it before she left. I've been watching that old woman chopping off different vegetables with different styles! She was even talking about the different kinds of knives!" He says like he just watched something horrifying. We both laugh. How far can his cuteness go?
I didn't know he has this side of him. I kinda like it.
His phone buzzes, stopping us from laughing, he got off the couch and excuses himself.
Who would call him late at night? A lover definitely. It's inevitable for him to have a girlfriend for starters. He got the looks and humor, who wouldn't fall for that? But it doesn't mean I am attracted to him.
Minutes later, he's back.
"I guess your girlfriend is looking for you, you better get going. I still have to finish my artwork anyway." I smile at him.
"It was nothing. Artwork? you mean in Joe's class? Let me help you." He blurts.
"I can manage." I wave my hands.
"Is that you?" He points at the frames aligned on top of the drawer behind me. Ignoring what I've just said.
I trace to where he's pointing. Oh shit. It's me in my dotted red bikini! My hands are on my waists and smiling widely with two missing teeth in front. Forgive me but I was only seven!
I quickly jump to grab it and hide the embarrassing photo. This is why I hate having friends over.
I laugh awkwardly. "Forget you saw that."
"I can't definitely just forget about that." He bursts into laughter. "That was cute."
I don't why if I am blushing in embarrassment or something else.
"You don't have to be embarrass about it. You looked so little, and how you smiled? it was priceless-"
"Okay I get it! Just stop with the comments." I cut him off but I can't help myself let out a soft laugh.
"So, what did you and my mom did?" I say, changing the topic.
"Nothing much, we just talked." He looks at the floor, avoiding me.
"Oh." I have a feeling that it wasn't a good talk.
"That bad huh?" He looks up at me.
"What are you talking about?" I ask in serious bewilderment. What did my mom exactly said to him?
"She said you have issues with trusting us, boys. After what happened to your dad and with your ex-boyfriend-"
"Stop." I cut him off. I feel like all my blood have drained. Is he serious? Did my mom really said that to him? Anger suddenly boils inside of me. I feel exposed.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't in the position to know." He reaches out for me but I jerk away.
"I think you better go."
"You can talk to me, Sam. I'm your friend." His voice so soft.
I want to yell at him to leave but I can't find the voice to do it, after all, this is my mom's fault. How dare she talk about my issues to Harry? I want to cry. All my lost and hidden memories are flashing back at me. The day we found out dad cheated and that he was sick. I remember mom crying that whole night. The day when he died was the worst part. And lastly, the day that the only boy I've ever loved, broke my heart. All the hurt and aches that I've been through, all the nights I've cried and all the questions that I have are left unanswered, they will always be here. I don't want them anymore.
I curl into a ball and hug myself while sobbing. Harry's concern eyes are on me. Does he find me helpless? I don't want people to have pity on me. It makes me weak.
"I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm very sorry." He moves closer and reach for my hand again, this time, I didn't refuse. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"It's fine, not now. Not tonight. Can you please go?" He didn't argue with me even more, instead he nods, letting go of my hand. He sighs as he got off the couch.
I don't want anybody else to know about it except Cassey. It takes trust, maybe I'm afraid that he'll judge me. I'm somehow thankful that he didn't push to talk about it, I'm not ready, will I ever be? Half way through the door, I watch him as he turns to face me once again.
"I'll be here to listen anytime, Sam." He smiles and walks out of the house.
I smile at his words. A big part of me is really happy to know that someone else is willing to listen. I didn't know that I would actually feel this but, I am really happy that I have met him too.
