11 - Stories

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"Did I tell you about that one time I got suspended for punching a kid in the grade above me? Well, of course I didn't tell you, but—"

"Hold on, you what?" Jack almost choked on his cold herbal tea, setting it back down on the table to keep it from spilling any more. Apparently, it does wonders to help settle a cannibal's stomach. "I thought that treatment was reserved for me!"

I laughed and flicked a piece of his hair upward to create a sort of temporary, partial cowlick. "Dumbass. This was in, like, sixth grade!"

"Okay, okay, what happened?" He leaned forward on his elbows like he was some drunk regular trying to hit on the bartender. We had both sat down at my kitchen table, telling any weird life stories that came to us (though he had yet to say anything of substance) and kind of losing our minds; 3:00 AM is not the best time to try doing anything like a rational human being. I once heard someone across campus claim that they learned to juggle lit torches in their room at 3:00 in the morning, but forgot it all that same day after falling asleep for an hour. I always called bullshit on that one, since it was so convenient that they couldn't prove their hidden talent on the spot. But it was a fun one to tell.

"So, our story begins on the magical grounds of Hudson Valley Prep..."

"Not Hogwarts?"

"Quiet. It's storytime. I was being picked on by this one kid, a whole year older than me, which...oh, back then, that's like he was my dad. So he kept doing all these really fucking petty things, he'd put little secret notes in my locker and call me gay and say my deadname really loud in the hallways to bother me—I mean, back then it wasn't exactly my deadname, but I still hated it. But one day he went just a tiny bit too far, and I snapped."

"So you punched him?"

"I think I did a little more than that, if I'm being honest. I was almost beating him up, I cursed him out and hit him in the legs and socked him in the face, all that stuff. The thing is, though, I only got one good hit. Everything else was just a failed swing at him, and then all the adults who were there in that hallway broke it up. I wasn't even crying. Actually, I kind of felt great after that. Got suspended for a week, the other guy got a little talk from our guidance counselor about bullying and a slap on the wrist for fighting back against a kid the year below him." I shrugged and swirled the water around in my glass around like it was some fancy brand of wine. "I was still kinda pissed that they didn't do more, because I told them basically everything he'd done up to that point. But he didn't bother me again. I don't even think he was scared of me, it just didn't seem worth it anymore." I looked at Jack with one eyebrow arched and a finger pointed at him. "And you know what the best part is?"

"What?"

"I caught him making out with some other boy in a bathroom stall, two years later."

He burst out laughing, though I have no idea why he found it that funny. Maybe he just hadn't gotten the chance to laugh in a long time. Either way, I started laughing too.

"Yeah, how about calling me gay now, Hunter?" I yelled into the air. Jack was practically wheezing.

"Holy crap, his name was Hunter?!"

"Right? It's like it was destiny! You know, I've only known two people named that in my life, but everyone else I've talked to says the same thing about their own Hunters. It's magic, I swear to God it is." I collected myself, took several deep breaths, and rested my head in my hands.

"Okay, I told my story. Your turn."

"No, no, I really don't have anything."

"Come on, you've been saying that for the past hour, there's gotta be something! What about...uh, I don't know, any girlfriends? Anything that happened at school?"

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