An Ode To Reality

*sigh* here we go (19/10/19)

Does it ever seem like you have more adversity in your life than other people do?

As if everyone around you is having an easier time of things than you are?

You begin to feel sorry for yourself and think, "Why does this stuff always happen to ME?"

We all seem to be getting more self-obsessed by the day. Turn on your TV or open a web browser, — everything screams ME! ME! ME!

Well, I'm one of those people (oops)

But it's not as easy, talking about mental health illnesses, because they're not as obvious. Emotions can arise mysteriously and be misleading, often going against our better judgment. We get angry over what's fickle, upset with what's spoken in jest, and fall in love with the wrong people. And believe me, I know all too well about falling in love with the wrong people unfortunately.

If you have somehow found me and you are going to miraculously carry on reading, i'm going to strip down my emotions, good and bad, paranoid and hyperaware, straight to the bare skin, stark bollock naked, here in this lil writing blog thing.

The basics

- my name is el (that's all you need to know about that?)
- I'm 17 years old
- I live in the UK
- I bite if you get on the wrong side of me
- idk what else you expect me to say?

So if you know me irl, I have to apologise for what this is, but you have enough trust to know about this. Hence why I put this off for ages (because i was terrified).
I wouldn't necessarily say this is a blog but I wouldn't really say it's a diary, I don't know what it is? A detailed journal of deteriorating mental health!? There will be quite a lot of venting, shitty poems and trigger warnings which kinda sucks but i can't help it.

ugh

it's currently 1:38am on October 19th, i'm listening to slowed down versions of songs on youtube absolutely dreading work tomorrow (today).

Okay. Okay. Let's try get this started and. Keep it going.

please let me do one thing I enjoy without losing motivation.
Please and thanks.

Lets go.