FED UP

1.

Marie Harris

I just broke up with a boy I've dated all through 9th-11th grade and it's really hard because I love this boy with all my heart, even after all the lies, even after he cheated, but to get a girl PREGNANT that was the last straw. I mean sleeping with a rat is one thing but knowing she's about to carry your boyfriend's child, that's too much of pain for me. He always tell me he's sorry he always come back with the lame excuses "baby i was drunk" " i didn't mean to do it". BULLSHIT. I don't even want to go to school this morning but my mom comes in my room and tells me to get up and go get ready for school.

"Mom I can't do this" I say softely crying remembering all that happened last night when I found out the news. Jalen(my ex) called me and he tells me that he's fucked up. I asked him what happened trying not to think of the worst but there was this feeling in me that told me that this nigga slipped up and ain't no coming back from that. Then he tells me he got a girl pregnant. WHAT. THE. FUCK. All I said was "We're done. DO NOT EVER TEXT ME AGAIN. And have fun taking care of you child with that slut you're are fucking" And I hung up the phone before I could hear his lame ass excuses and blocked his number. I started crying and crying. I had called my bestfriend telling her what had happened and she honestly helped me, I love her so much. But I still can't believe that the person I was in love with, a person who claimed he loved me back, did this shit to me. 

"baby I know you are hurt right now but you can't be sitting her all day crying, you can't let this man put you in a dark place" my momma saying to me. I can see the sadness in her eyes.

I'm Bi-racial, my dad is Black and my mom is Asian. My dad left my momma when I was about 12 with 3 kids to raise on her own. I love my mom so much and everytime I see her hurt It bring more sadness to my heart just making me want to go and hug my mom and tell her everything will be ok. But how can I do that when I know everything is not ok and may never be.

I have 1 older brother he's 19 and I'm 18 and my little sister is 16. My brother found out what had happened with me and jalen and he was going to pull up at the niggas house to beat his ass. As much as I wanted to see that I knew how mad my brother can get and might kill Jalen and that would just make me lose my mind. My little sister always hated him but once she found out too she hated him even more. I honestly love my family cause they the only people I got, well I mean besides my bestfriend.

I look at my mom and I say "ok momma but as soon as I not feeling good, or someone fucks with me I'm leaving" 

"aye watch yo mouth now. but yeah ok I hear you" she says hugging me and I hug her back crying in her arms, God knows I really need my mother at this time and I'm glad she's here for me

I get up and it's 6:30am and I have an hour and a half to get ready. I go to the bathroom and play the new Summer Walker album that shit gets you in your feels. I finished taking shower and I brush my teeth and teeth and do all other things I do then go find my outfit.

I don't want to look like I am a depressed ass bitch who got cheated on (even I am). I still want to dress nice just to let Jalen know he didn't hurt me but I know deep down he really fucked my head up. I look until I find something I think is cute and simple. A red shirt and nike spandex.