LESSONS LEARNT (Connor Franta AU)

The Ugly Part

Connor returned, and well he cut my skin again, and after that, he recorded a video, yes here, but there's this clean spot. He spoke about 'Life' wtf.

"I think, we need to live life to the full extent because I know what if feels like to lose your childhood, or just you know having life to limited times. I always regret it, I don't want you to be in my position...And I think I'm gonna discontinue this channel because I need to get out and have a social life, yes youtube has a huge part in my life, but c'mon I have to think about something to make a video on, and spend like half the day in recording and editiing...TImes have been tough and I'm going to stop making videos, but I'll be on twitter, so we can talk there. Love you all bye..."

Didn't expect that shit. He's got a life? seriously? All his life is this place where he worships the devil and tries to kill me. He doesn't meet me till like after an hour.

"You know, your lucky Jessie...I saved you from the ugly but fun part." This is the first time he called me with my name. "Ugly part?" i ask, he sits down beside me, i move behind. "You know, the ugly stuff of your past, it's gonna be fun for me but torture for you, I literally saved you from it because you trusted me a lot didn't you. honey, never trust guys online.." yup, that's a really big lesson.

My past....the reason why I got into this shit in the first place. fine here you go.

my parents divorced when I was a kid, and my dad abused me as a kid, ofcourse this affected everything I did.

"You know, it's not hard to understand why all that um bullshit happened to you, cause I'd love to do the so called ugly part to you, but I won't." This is kinda the first time i like home since I've been in a 'relationship' with him.

"why?" I ask. like why does he want to spare me??

"You really want to know?" I nod.

"Well...I've gone through some shit like that, but not the same as you as a kid..." SO HE DID NOT KILL HIS MOM? I mean those were the reasons why people at school said me to stay away from him.

"You did not kill her?" He says no. "Well, people thought I did, so I left school and that town."

Damn....So many weird things today...I think I now understand why he's like this...he just gave up on God...