He's the One I Want

Backstory

AN: Hey guys and gals! Welcome to the story! As you know Josh is gay in this book so if that's not what you signed up for then slam that back button! BE WARNED: There is talk of sexual subjects in this chapter and possibly future ones. Everyone involved is at least 18. If you choose to stay please enjoy! If you have any ideas for the story let me know in the comments or DM me! Happy reading!

//

Josh's story starts long before he got famous. Well, he wouldn't say famous. His story begins before the band started getting attention. Before cameras followed his every move. Before any of it really seemed to matter.

Josh's story begins in the wide open fields and forests of the Michigan countryside where he grew up. For a very long time his life was simple. His family spent their time in the woods, on the lake, frolicking in meadows. It all sounds so romantic. Looking back now, it really was. Josh wouldn't change a damn thing about how he grew up. When he and his twin brother Jake hit school age, things got a little more complicated. They weren't exactly good students. They tried, but they weren't really wired that way. They struggled learning how to read (once they figured it out they loved it though). They had trouble with math and never got a great grasp on it. Elementary and middle school were pretty rough educationally for them, but when they got to high school things got both better and worse. As far as school goes they enjoyed being able to pick their electives. Jake chose music classes and Josh took film and photography. This is where the twins stopped being "the twins". They became Jake and Josh. They became individuals. 

The divergence took some effort, too. They chose to dress differently. They hung out with some different people. They took different paths. Jake became a player. Girls liked him. He was already giving off rockstar vibes, even at 15. But this story isn't about Jake. Josh became the weirdo. He had his group of 5 friends and he stuck with them, but he never felt like he really fit. High school was kind of lonely for him. Surprisingly Josh seemed to have the same effect on girls that Jake did. Unfortunately for those young ladies, it would seem Josh wasn't interested. He friend-zoned every girl that came within 3 feet of him. By the time the band started playing regular shows at bars and such, his twin had begun to notice. Actually everybody did. Rumors started flying as they do in small towns. Pretty soon Josh was being called a queer and a fag at school. He would just laugh and joke along with the others, because frankly, it was annoying but he wasn't about to let it get to him. He figured that he just wasn't interested in girls right now since he had too much else to focus on.

The day that changed his mind came in his senior year. He and Jake still shared a bedroom so late night "deep" conversations were common. The rumors about his brother's sexuality had been bothering Jake for a while now and he decided to just ask Josh about it.

"Um, Josh?"

"Yeah Jake?"

"Yanno how everyone think's you're gay?"

Josh gave a deep sigh. Not my fucking brother too,  ugh. "Yeah I'm aware."

"I mean... are you?"

"I don't think so Jake. Why?"

"Because you've never had a girlfriend, you've never hooked up with a girl, you've never even had a crush on a girl. Unless of course you've been lying to me."

"No, no! We tell each other everything. I've just never really wanted any of those things I guess." 

"Seriously? You've never even wanted to fuck a chick?"

"Ick! NO! The very thought makes me cringe Jake!"

"Dude are you sure  you're not gay? I mean complete aversion to girls sounds pretty gay to me."

Josh was silent as he thought about what Jake had said. Suddenly Jake spoke again.

"Okay, if you aren't into girls then what do you think about when you jack off? Don't lie either, remember we tell each other everything."

"Um... I don't know. I guess I just try to imagine it's someone else's hand instead of mine. Fuck Jake I don't know! If I am gay then I haven't given it much thought!"

"Hey, hey calm down! I'm not trying to make you mad or anything, I just want to know. If you aren't sure maybe I can help you figure it out?"

"Dude what the fuck?!"

"Not like THAT you perv! Just... lets talk it out okay?"

"Yeah... yeah alright"

"Let's start with basic stuff. Have you ever had a crush on a guy?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure what a crush is supposed to feel like."

"It feels like you can't help but be happy when they're around. And you think about them like  constantly. Like you could be doing algebra homework and then suddenly you think, "gee I wonder what she's doing right now?" but then you just kind of day dream about them for a little while. I don't know if that make sense but, yeah."

"Um, I guess I thought about Jamie like that for a little while. You know Jamie, from theater? I don't really day dream about him anymore though."

"Well, yeah crushes don't last forever. So it seems like maybe you had a crush on Jamie. That's a good place to start. Have you ever wanted to have sex with a guy?"

Josh's cheeks became hot in the dark. "I-I've thought about it before." he said quietly.

"Hey, it's fine Josh." Jake reassured him. "When you jack off do you imagine it's a man's hand or a woman's?"

"Neither really. I don't imagine anybody attached to it, it's just... there."

"Okay, well do you ever watch porn?"

Josh was silent for a solid 30 seconds.

"Josh it's okay, everyone does it. You don't have to be ashamed you know."

"Yeah, I've tried to before. The straight stuff kind of grossed me out though."

"Did you try any of the... other stuff."

"Once. I came so fast watching that shit it scared me." Josh buried his face in his pillow at the admission.

"Josh I think you're gay."

"Yeah."

And THAT ladies and gentlemen, is where Joshua's story really begins.