Ordinary Hero (Attack on Titan // LeviHan)

Chapter Five

Personally, I felt that the rest of the afternoon and evening that followed those events were beyond awkward. I never found out how Hanji truly felt about it, I never asked. Somehow, I got the vibe that she felt as uncomfortable as I did. We’d go ten of fifteen minutes without saying a single word to each other, sometimes even longer than that. Even when we did speak to each other, it was small talk. Small talk seemed to be an understatement, but there wasn’t anything else to refer to our miniature conversations as.

Typically it was Hanji that piped up first, asking me if I could go get her another glass of water or some more crackers to nibble on. Of course, I obliged and fetched what she requested. The only times I spoke up where when I needed to reply to Hanji, or to ask her how she was feeling. I only resorted to the second option when I felt that the deafening silence couldn’t go on for much longer without me losing my sanity. The answer Hanji gave me was always the same – she never mentioned feeling particularly great, but that she was feeling better compared to the last time I asked. I felt like it was partially my fault that we hardly spoke, but maybe Hanji wasn’t a particularly sociable person, either. I made a promise with myself that I’d make a better habit to strike up at least one conversation – and keep it going – the next day.

The one break I had from the awkward scene was when there was a knock at the door. I dragged myself up from the couch and over to the door that connected my apartment to the bar. Only my co-workers knew that someone actually lived above the bar, so it had to be one of them at the door. I opened up the door, somewhat satisfied to see that my theory was correct when I realized that Petra stood outside my door. She seemed glad, somewhat relieved to see me, but soon after her expression changed to that of confusion and concern. I furrowed my brows together and stared back at her, only to notice that she was focused on something behind me. Intrigued, I turned back and saw Hanji standing behind me, wringing her hands as a bashful blush swept over her.

Thanks to her little move, I had to explain to Petra that I had practically adopted the alcoholic woman and that she was now living with me. After having to clear up a lot of details and even managing to leave a few out, Petra seemed understanding of the situation. She assured me that it’d be fine for me to stay up here with Hanji tonight and that she could handle the Sunday night shift. Besides, we only stayed open until one on Sundays. Before heading back down into the bar, Petra guaranteed me that she’d inform Eld, Gunther, and Oluo of my situation. I swear, I would have no idea what to do without that woman. Honestly, I think she’s the one that kept us all in check at the bar.

I returned back to the apartment and flopped back down on the couch next to Hanji, who had already sat back down. I wasn’t up to dealing with any more silence, especially after talking to Petra. I reach forward for the television remote, flicking the screen on. I clicked the ‘volume down’ button a few times, lowering the loud sound of voices from some cheesy reality –TV show. It’s not like I was paying attention to the show or even what it was about, I just didn’t want to sit around in silence with Hanji for any longer. I glanced over at her, noticing that the brunette had stretched herself farther across the couch, now taking up about two-thirds of it and forcing me to sit squashed against the armrest. She refused to look at me, her eyes glued to the television, like she was actually bothering to watch it or something. Truthfully, by the look on her face, I began to think something was bothering her.  I turned out to be right about that, she turned back to me moments later. “It seems like you and Petra are pretty close, huh?” she asked, her voice so soft I almost couldn’t hear her over the TV.

I grabbed the remote, clicking the mute option so that I could actually hold a conversation with Hanji. “What, are you jealous of her or something?” I asked. Immediately as I said it, I could see the hurt in her eyes. I swore silently under my breath, everything always sounded ruder than I meant when I said it out loud. Hanji’s eyes went wide for a short second before her eyelids drooped, her attention quickly shooting to the glass of water. Suddenly, I felt my entire body fill with fear. I didn’t mean to be so cruel, but obviously, that’s how I had come off to her. I stuttered around for a moment, trying to form an apology. I felt so guilty for distressing like her, but apologies certainly weren’t one of my strengths. “Um, Hanji, I, uh, didn’t mean for that to come off like that, I really didn’t mean it like that… I’m really sorry, you know.”