I never related to the other children. I was just, different. Special. My Mother never worried for me. She never thought different of me because I behaved abnormally. I just didn't feel like the other children did. I never understood the other children, teachers, or anyone. Other people would cry and show sad emotion. Squeal with excitement. Storm off with anger. These were feelings I didn't have. I only felt, empty.
I learned to lie. Lie about how I felt. I would pretend to care. Pretend to love. Pretend to have hobbies. I pretended to be normal. Only Mother knew about my lies.
She would always say, "I was just like you when I was your age. I thought like you, I just wanted to feel things, but you'll find them. Find the one that heals you, fixes you, saves you. You just have to wait."
These words always span around inside my head. These words gave me hope. This hope was the only reason I had to live.
I first saw him. That first moment. I felt, something. It was wonderful.
I moved schools that year. Mother had found a new job and we had to move.
I dropped my books. Nothing new, just more inconvenience. Then I saw him.
His purple hair, sweet smile, soft touch. He saw me fall and helped me. He softly grabbed my hand and picked up my books.
"Careful, it hurts when you trip on the concrete." He giggled.
Singsong voice, handsome face, beautiful laugh.
I found him.
"My names S-Stephen."
Adorable stutter. Shy gestures. So precious.
I must not lose him.
He handed me my books and our hands touched while I took hold .
I must protect him.
"My name is Hosuh..."
"Aw, I like the name Hosuh."
I must make him mine.
"I need to go meet with my friends now, talk to you later Hosuh"
I must not let anyone take him.
He waved goodbye to me and then walked off round the corner.
I need him.
I stood there, book in hand. His touch, voice, smile, laugh. They were all implemented into my brain.
He is everything.
I smiled to myself.
He is worth any sacrifice.
I need to meet him again today.
Nothing else matters.
I held on to my book tight and walked to class.
No one else matters.
I hugged my books at the smell of his cologne.
He will be mine.
He doesn't have a choice.
~~~
I walked to the small cherry blossom tree in the middle of the courtyard. Sat there was Stephen. I smiled but someone else was there too.
Who was that?
The person beside Stephen had bright pale green hair.
My heart pounded, fists clenched. I felt something, but I couldn't name it.
