It's not what it seems

Harm

Warning ⚠️
Sensitive topic and actions
I also added "The truth untold " to make it even sadder .

Jungkook point of view
Once I heard the door close when everyone left I broke down in tears I just couldn't handle thinking what I would do Sense I will be alone all the times now .  I feel like that will be the last time I see them , I feel like they will leave me when I least expect it and I'm not ready for that to happen . Maybe if I leave them before they leave me I won't feel that bad or as bad as I feel right now. I just kept telling myself they were gonna leave me and that I wasn't important to them never was and never will be I just kept thinking how  the world would be a lot better for them if I wasn't in it anymore. I also kept telling myself that I was ugly ,no one would  ever love me and that everything my family said was true . I always wanted to know the truth but now that I do I don't want to know it anymore . I want to take my self  out of it and there's only one way . I can't be in this world any longer I just can't I really did try but my fire has finally run out of gasoline and it has fully burnt out.

So I grabbed my pills and blades .

I got the bath  and my letter ready if someone actually wants to see it and started to cut my self but first I made sure to get a belt to bite on so no one could hear my sobs and screams from cutting so deeply . I made sure to go slow sense I wanted to feel pain , I wanted to feel the pain I deserve for as long as possible and here I am finally getting it . It's weird though I was crying but I wanted this so why do I still want to stay but then don't . The one thing I regret is not telling my friend how amazing they were but the thing I regret the most is not telling Tae my feelings sense i still want him even if I can't give my self to him  . How is he supposed to love me if I don't love my self ?

I quickly stopped got in the water ,took my pills , and kept cutting more and more and more . I made sure too swallow as much pills as I could put In My mouth . It was difficult sense my arms were going numb , some fell in the water but I swallowed most of them . With the rest of the power I had I got the biggest and sharpest razor and sliced all the way up my leg including my rose tattoo sense I knew this would be the last time of cutting it . I started loosing blood fast after that I was finally getting what I wanted after so long I felt happy ,I felt like a bird getting let out of its cage . I was a human getting let out of its cage but this cage is different. The cage I am in is called depression it feels like you will never leave it because of how locked up you are once you walk into it. You will try to get out of it but the more you try it feels like the cage is shrinking and getting smaller like your hope of escaping is . But when you finally find the escaped you gladly take it . People might say your selfish when  you commit suicide  thinking you did it for your self . Most of the times when someone commits suicide they think they are doing what's better for themselves and others . So really the people that say we are selfish should think again .

I tried to fight this battle I really did.
I tried to stop my self physically but mentally I couldn't .
I tried to sleep at night but I couldn't but now I will sleep and no one will be able to wake me from it .

After thinking about lots of things including Tae I felt my eyes closing I couldn't stop them neither did I want too though I was finally escaping the cage I was once in . The last thing I heard was what seemed to be a lock break .