Scarlett War

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE - ALMOST GOODBYES

Wanda Maximoff - ?

Dear William,

I'm sorry that I left the other night.

Truth is, I can't tell you why I'm different. I can't form it into words; my mouth won't let me.

But what I can tell you is how sorry I am.

I know I'm not the same person. That's something I can admit. I can't say that I regret turning into someone new.

I shouldn't push you away, and I don't want too, but I can't help it. It's what my body is telling me to do and I listen.

I don't want to hurt any of you. I can't say that for everyone.

I love you. I know sorry cannot fix myself, or what I've done, but it is the only words I can think of.

I hope you can forgive me one day, but I will not be shocked if you don't.

Because you love Wanda Maximoff.

And that is not me anymore.

I love you."

I let out a sigh as I put the letter in my pack. I wanted to send it, but I could not force myself to get it too him.

That would mean that I was sort of ending our relationship. That is not that I wanted to do, but it wasn't fair for me to drag him into my problems, especially if it could put him in danger as well.

I had to kill Ivan, somehow. I couldn't let him destroy the world, but I wasn't sure how I would go about killing him.

Zussman was still mad, by the way. It's been two days, and he avoided me at all costs. Daniels said I had to talk to him soon, but I bit my tongue every time I saw him.

I'd didn't understand why he was so upset. In a way, I did, but the other boys understood. Maybe eventually he would too.

I had to talk to him, before something else happened, and I left. Or I took another path.

"Daniels?" I said as I found them around the campfire. "You know where Zussman is?"

He looked at me, blue eyes reflecting the fire. "Finally worked up the courage to talk to him?

I sighed, "yea, I guess. Where is he?"

"He's near where the chow is," he replied, "edge of forest. Upset."

Another sigh came out of my lips. "Thanks."

I found him exactly where Daniels said he was. I was dreading this, but I knew I couldn't beat around the bush anymore.

His back was to me, and cigarette smoke came out of his hand.

He didn't smoke often, but when he did, it meant something was wrong.

"Zussman?"

He jolted, stiffening. "Nice of you to leave Pierson's tent for once."

I sighed, "I'm sorry we hid it Zuss, especially from you and the boys. But we didn't want to cause a, a scene. Or make everything awkward."

"Well, you caused one anyways." He turned around sharply, walking closer to me. "I can't believe you would mess around with that bastard, out of everyone you could have. Perez? Aiello? Fucking Turner would've been better-"

"Zussman!" I snapped, getting somewhat angry myself. "Zussman, I can't help that I fell for him, alright? I sure as hell didn't plan it, and he didn't either. And it's not just messing around," I said dangerously, "its way more than that."