Look at these dark circles, Jeanette thinks, this rearview mirror really highlights them. No worry, the twins don't see my circles as I wave goodbye, besides, they belie the strength behind my eyes. The strength of many. The divorce from Bill was traumatic, but it's over now. The kids and I have found a wonderful house in a good neighborhood, we will prevail. Bill wasn't the first time I've had to leave a bad situation, but part of me had really loved him, and leaving him was difficult. No matter, I learned early on that trauma has an end if you can escape. Then you have to decide whether to keep the pain with you, or let it go. I've learned to let it go, an excellent coping mechanism my therapists have said over the years. I wish the baby had slept better, the kids argued all morning from lack of sleep. Well, It takes a village my grandmother always said. She will never know how right she was. I wish Katherine was still around, she would've helped with the baby last night, she was always good with the kids, I miss her so much. No time to think about that, there is to much to do today, a mother's work is never done, but I'm tired now and help is coming so I'll start the crockpot, take a quick look in the hallway mirror before I take a nap. As usual, I need a haircut, but really who has the time for that? Look at all these fingerprints, Sylvie will be upset. Thank goodness she'll be here soon to clean the house.
This hallway mirror is god damn filthy, Sylvie thinks. Honestly, what does everyone in this house do while I'm not here? Every week I do a full cleaning, the bathrooms, the windows, the floors, the laundry and the dusting, in addition to the daily chores of dishes, counters, garbage, vacuuming and bed making. I swear the minute I leave, a tornado swoops through and destroys everything I've done. I've been with Jeanette a long time, longer than anyone really, and I almost miss her mother's cold and sterile household.That woman was horrible but at least she had a clean house! I've kept things in order for many years, keeping Jeanette safe from her mother's tirades, screaming and belittlement, among other things only I really remember. I even learned to clean quicker over these past years, softening the blow from Bill as best I could, but this is really just too much now. There are too many kids, and nothing stays put, fingerprints on everything, and why is the stair rail sticky? Eat at the god damn table, like humans, are we raising wolves in this household? Jesus. Jeanette is supposed to be teaching the kids how to clean up after themselves, she is clearly failing. She's too soft. Katherine was soft like that, kid friendly and sweet, always making excuses for Bill. I miss her terribly, but people come and go, that's how Jeanette's life works. Can't think about that now, I hear the baby crying.I'll go feed her myself, Jeanette needs her rest. Hello baby, such a sweetie you are, let's look out the window while you take a bottle. Hayden did an excellent job mulching all the leaves on Tuesday, the yard looks so orderly. I see she still has to finish trimming the front bush; I think she's coming today. There you go baby, all done, go back to sleep. Just about finished now. I'll Windex this mirror by the front door before I leave. Goodness, I need to get a haircut!
What a great day, Hayden thinks from the front porch. The sunshine, the colored leaves, the crisp air, I can hear the music of the day in my head. Tuesday was productive, the yard looks good. Of course it didn't have all these toys littering it when I left, but oh well. At least the kids are funny, always good for a laugh. Tuesday they teased each other as they climbed the trees and ran away from the mower. They crack me up, but poor Sylvie has such a load on her these days, picking up after them. She felt very stressed leaving today. Katherine used to take much of the load off, the kids loved her, she seemed to have as much energy as the kids themselves at times. I miss her, let's start this work to clear my mind. Who's that over there? "Why hello there Mr. Green, you're looking well, your chrysanthemums are looking beautiful this time of year. Have an excellent day." That Mr. Green, a yard to aspire to. I'm glad Jeanette chose a small yard for the time being, but maybe when the kids get older I'll plant some gardens Jeanette can tend to when I'm not here. Let me see, where are those trimmers? They should be in the garage where I left them, this job should only take about 20 minutes. It's only 2pm and I already feel the weight of the day on me. I might have more work to do now that Bill's gone, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Alright that's about it, I'll put these back in the garage. This car looks like it could use a wash and my reflection tells me I need a haircut. I think Jeanette should be up soon.
What a great nap! Look at this house, Sylvie is a god send, always has been, she even fed the baby. I see the bush was finished as well. Hayden is always timely with her work. Thank god for crockpots, looks like dinner's done. Let me think, this will last at least 2 nights, and we we have another in the fridge for my shifts at the hospital later in the week, so we should be all set for dinner this week. I'm thinking I should pick up an extra shift here and there to hire a house cleaner. Sylvie really has so much work to do now that Katherine is gone. God I miss Katherine, but we're better off without her.
Jeanette looks in the freshly cleaned mirror and smiles, she knows Sylvie and Hayden can feel her gratitude as they smile back. They'd all agreed Katherine had been the part that loved Bill the most, and Bill was toxic. They had to get away from him, and in order to do that, they had to let her go.
