I've spent most of my life alone. In high school I was always the quiet girl that no one really bothered to talk to. I would go to my classes, sit in the back, take notes (doodle), and leave. No boys ever paid much attention to me; they were more focused on the outgoing, popular, and gorgeous girls that knew just what to say to have them all wrapped around their fingers.
I was basic, anyways.
My hair was a lighter shade of brown than it is now and I didn't wear much makeup. I didn't have any piercings or tattoos and I wore the clothes that my aunt thought were appropriate.
In result, I didn't get to express myself in my appearance so I did it in my drawing and writing.
So people would take one look at me and not give me a second glance because I was "basic" to them.
When really, I was the farthest thing from it.
It wasn't until I was eighteen when I started to change my outer self into what would represent my inner self. I died my hair darker, I bought all new clothes, I got a few tattoos, piercings, wore more makeup, and boom. Everyone started paying attention to me. It was my last year in high school, I was a senior, and of course it was the worst.
Yes, I was getting boy attention now but that's what made it awful. Now that I had grown up a little, I realized that those guys who never paid attention to me before, now only wanted me because I was attractive. Not because of who I really was.
And it hurt.
I wasn't dumb enough to let them use me, though. I knew I had to wait for the guy who would want me for me and not just my outer appearance, my body.
So I was alone again. I had to reject every douche bag that tried to slither into my life and eventually they all stopped trying. And of course I didn't have any friends that were girls either because they all hated me now; all the boys that they wanted, wanted me and I had rejected them all. So I was alone.
Being alone was fine. I was okay.
I moved out of my Aunt and Uncles after I graduated, and left Cheshire, I ended up in London alone and I was okay. My uncle gladly pays for my bills and all of my other needs, since I don't have a job and he wants me to put all of my focus in college, he's more than happy to send me money everything month.
But he never keeps in touch with me. Neither does my Aunt.
I met Lacy and we became good friends, but we hardly ever hung out because her parents didn't like me and she still lived at home so she had to follow most of their rules. And she is very involved with her family, I refuse to get in between that.
But then I met Leon. He happened to be there when I fell down the huge flight of stairs at college, breaking my ankle and left pinky. He skipped his classes just to drive me to the emergency room and ended up staying with me all day until I was released with two pathetic casts. He drove me home that night and helped me into my apartment, resulting in us watching horror movies all night and me becoming closer to anyone I've ever met in my life.
I don't know what to do about Leon anymore; he seems too attached to me in a romantic way and I don't see him as anything more than my best friend. I haven't seen him for a few days now and it saddens me, honestly, we used to spend time together every day. He's avoiding me and nothing hurts my heart more than to know that the person I deeply care about is trying to distance themselves from me. And I know it's because of Zayn.
Zayn.
He's a totally different story, a confusing and beautiful story. Now that he's come into my life I don't feel alone anymore. I feel like I can talk to him about anything and everything and I feel as if he can understand my every thought just by looking into my eyes. It scares me, to be completely honest. What if he leaves? I'll have another part of me shattered, just like when my family was murdered.
I don't want to lose him.
I hadn't realized that I have been sitting on my bed staring out of the window for what feels like centuries until I hear faint knocks erupting from the front door.
I quickly hop to my feet and scurry down the hall. I'm too curious, to who's at my front door, to worry about the fact that I'm wearing spandex shorts with a tank top and thigh high socks.
Yes, I tend to dress slightly slutty when I'm all by myself, don't judge me, it's not like anyone sees me.. Except for now I guess.
Hopefully it's not my Aunt visiting me, that would be traumatizing.
I pier through the peep hole of the front door and I instantly grin.
Zayn is standing there with his hands in the front of his jean pockets, staring at the ground with his jaw set and eyes narrowed. Harry is standing behind him, leaning against the railing with an already lit cigarette in his mouth and a facial expression that matches Zayn's. They look on edge and I'm already worried.
"Hey guys." I greet once I pop open the door.
Both of their eyes immediately snap up to meet mine and I look at Zayn. I know something is terribly wrong, his lips don't curve up into smile when our eyes meet like they always do, his gaze is hard and I can see the panic clouding behind those brown orbs.
"Something's wrong." I say when neither of them speak and the wind from outside sends shivers over my mostly exposed skin.
I motion them inside and shut the frigid November weather out as I slam the door. Harry reaches behind me and locks it, looking me straight in the eye and I'm trapped between him and the door before he slowly backs away and joins Zayn in the living room.
Alrighty then...
They're both standing there, refusing to take a seat and I slowly inch towards the hallway to my room. "I'm just gonna go change real quick.."
"There's no need." Zayn says and slides a hand through the front of his hair.
I stay silent and my eyes slowly narrow in confusion and utter weirded-outness as I stand frozen where the front room meets the hallway.
"Okay.." I drag out the word. "What's gotten you two so shit pantsed?"
Zayn takes a seat and puts his face in his hands in frustration while Harry remains standing and continues to stare at him.
Harry begins to say something but nothing comes out of his mouth as it slightly gapes.
I cross my arms, looking at them, slightly frightened but I'm still so curious.
"So you guys just came over to sit here and say nothing?"
"Chloe." Zayn snaps and I jump.
"There's some things going on in the gang.." Harry trails off.
I look at him to continue, his green eyes pour into mine and I have a feeling that these things are serious.
Silence filled the room, once again, as I mentally pleaded Zayn to say something. Anything.
But all he did was stare down at his huge combat boots with his pale hands grabbing at the shiny spikes of midnight hair on his head. His eyes are hard and I can't help but keep noticing hard tight his jaw is set. I can see the vein at the side of his forehead ever so slightly pulsing and I'm getting more and more worried by every second that annoyingly ticks by on the clock set on top of the fire place.
My eyes shift to Harry again and I can see him battling against himself in a war held behind his eyes while they stare me down in an almost sad way.
I could see something else as well.. He was nervous. His bottom lip being captured between his teeth made it obvious.
"Please.. Just, tell me what's going on." I plead and Harry's mouth opens to speak again.
In the next moment I don't know if I should laugh or scream or run or cry, but looking at Zayn and the way his eyes flash to mine and look almost as if they were a darker color than usual, I think I might just drop dead at that and Harry's next words.
"So basically.. We have to kill you."
