Take Love

Further.

"I have to tell you something..." I raise the white mug up to my my mouth and look up.

"...what?" Soon-ae stops herself, mid way through a bite of her croissant. 

"I saw Wonho yesterday..." I sip the coffee and break the eye contact with my sister, whose face seems to completely morph from concern to amusement.

"Wonho? Like...WONHO Wonho?"

I roll my eyes, "Yes, WONHO Wonho."

"Where did you see him?" She leans forward, resting her head on her interlinked hands. 

"My car broke down and I called a mechanic, and then I walk out of my door and he's just...there, leaning on my car," I bite my lip.

"Just like that?" She furrows her eyebrows, "Was it awkward?"

Thinking for a moment, I finger the handle of the mug, "At first, yeah... I think we were both just taken aback, you know? But then he hugged me-"

"He hugged you!?" Soon-ae's squeal travels throughout the whole cafe, and I glare at her.

She winces, "Sorry...he hugged you?" Her smile is uncontrollable as she asks me for the details.

"Yes, he hugged me... and Soon-ae, I swear... he held me, and it felt like nothing had changed," I smile at the memory. 

She smiles at me, "So...are you gonna see him again?"

"I see him Friday morning when I pick up the car..." Lowering my eyes, my smile fades.

"What's wrong?" 

"I was really happy to see him, but then... he was wearing a ring."

"...so?" 

I look at her, "A ring. Like a wedding ring."

Her expression doesn't change as she repeats her question, "So?"

"I can't go after a married man," My eyes widen.

She rolls her eyes, "So? You're married too, and you're clearly still in love with Wonho. How do you know he doesn't feel the same?"

"That's not the point. If he has a family," My mind flashes to Hoseok, "I don't want to be the person that comes between that...no matter how I feel..."

Soon-ae nods, finally seeming to understand, "I guess you're right..."

I nod back, "I know I am..."

"So, come Friday... will that be the last time you see him?" Her eyes search mine.

I'm quiet for what feels like a long time, and then I nod slowly.

"It has to be..."

"You're so beautiful..." He reached his hand up and tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear. We stood outside of the very expensive restaurant that he'd invited me to for dinner. We were waiting for the valet to come with his car; it felt like the wait would never end. I smiled, but it wasn't genuine. The night had been quite beautiful; He insisted that I get the most expensive thing on the menu, and even got me a dessert that I honestly had no room for- all the while, jazz music played softly around us, and couples surrounding our table, drunkenly flirting and laughing. 

But I didn't care about any of it; 

because he wasn't you. 

I listened as he carried on about our future. It seemed as though he had every single detail planned out; our kids, our house- even our car. It was suffocating. All I wanted to do was open the car door and throw myself out the moving vehicle.