Bone Check | A Sans x Garfield Story

Chapter 2: Let Me Check Your Vibe

Sans honestly could not believe that he was able to charm such a vibin' cat. He was still a bit shocked, but he wasn't complaining. They both left the restaurant, chillin' so hard that they forgot to pay for their meals. They walked down the streets of Townsville. Sans awkwardly walked next to Garfield not knowing what to say. His mind went blank whilst being engulfed in Garfield's groove, he ran out of puns.

"Hey man, you feeling ok?" Garfield said while looking nonchalantly at the skeleton man. Sans was abruptly awoken from his train of thought. Garfield looked at the skeleton in confusion. "You're sweating up a storm there, man." Sans had only noticed the sweat that dropped down his skull. He was moist. "Oh uh, yeah I'm just fine hehehehe." He whipped off the sweat from his cranium. "So I'm just wondering, you could have gone anywhere in Townsville to find some good grub, so why Grillby's?"
"I guess it's a nice change of scenery, but damn it's cold. Could go for a nice hot lasagna right about now." said Garfield.
Didn't he just have lasagna a minute ago- the skeleton thought to himself.
"I know what you're thinking, yeah I eat a lot of lasagna, but that's just how I roll y'know." Garfield said while patting his stomach. Sans found his "dietary habit" to be quite chill, pretty bitchin' dude. Mad respect bro. His vibe began to grow.
The two of them strolled around the town. They joked around and laughed. Their chemistry was so apparent. The tension between them was so thick and evident that you could sense it from a mile away.

Truth be told, someone did indeed sense it.

The bodacious duo were stopped in their path. There stood a figure, a child in a red t shirt and a black hat. Sans was paralyzed in a cold sweat, for he had recognized this kid.

Edd had a gun. He held the fucking gun and aimed it at Garfield.

"WHAT THE FUCK KID WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!?!" Garfield exclaimed putting his paws up. They backed away from the child. "Edd, what are you doing?!" asked Sans nervously. He knew how deadly it was to cross with Edd-boy in the midst of his anger.
"Pardon my intrusion, but it appears that you two are very close. Perhaps you both are...vibing?" Edd said with suspicion in his eyes.
"Yeah, what about it, huh?" Garfield snarled.
"I'm afraid I do NOT condone this behavior. This is wrong oN SO MANY LEVELS!!! HOW CAN YOU EVEN SHOW YOUR FACES LIKE THIS?!?!" Edd shrieked at the top of his lungs.
"How did you even get here? I didn't even see you walk by, kid." Sans said.
"...Enderpearl." said Edd. "BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER! You know why this is an issue, SANS!?"
Sans stared at him in fear and curiosity. Garfield could no longer keep his cool.
"Because a vibe like that is too powerful. It's inappropriate! It's borderline horny!" He complained. Sans and Garfield has become confused. Who is this mook ass child to tell them what to do?
"Look, get the fuck out of my way. We vibin', periodt bitchhhhhh." Garfield snapped at Edd.
"Oh, so you do admit to being horny! In the middle of the street! Unacceptable!" Edd shouted.
"I'm not one to beat kids, but damn I'm this close to annihilating you off the face of the planet." Garfield threatened. He had shifted his feet into a power stance. Sans noticed this move which brought him to a cold sweat. You don't just simply square up to Edd-boy. Sans went into a panic.
"G-Garfield you don't know what you're doing-" Sans tried to hold him back, but was abruptly interrupted. "Calm down, what damage could this kid exactly do?" Garfield retorted.
"Don't you underestimate me, dumb cat! So you're name is Garfield, huh. Haha, funny, most of the time I never get to know the names of my victims!" Edd laughed. "Doesn't change a thing though. Your fate is sealed!" Edd laughed. He then brought his hand to his back pocket, pulling out a second gun.
"HAH! DUEL WIELDING! Bet you didn't expect that!"
"Oh you motherf-" Sans said before Edd shot a bullet at the ground, only a few inches away from Garfield's feet. They were both left in shock. The battle has only begun. Suddenly, Edd started shooting ballistically at Garfield. He dodged his bullets with grace and ease. Sans watched in awe. Garfields vibe began coming back to him. Garfield ran towards the armed child. He lunged at him in an attempt to disarm him, only to have missed and hit the ground.
"Truly pathetic, Garfield." Edd said looking down at him. Sans was enraged at this display. His eyes went black as he put his hands in his pocket. He walked towards Edd.
"Oh, you think you can stop me, you poor, poor skeleton?" Edd pointed one of his guns at Sans.
"Don't you dare take one more fucking step!" Edd shouted angrily. Sans stopped approaching. He knew it was only inevitable. It was time for Edd's vibe to be checked.
"Isn't it such a beautiful day out here? Can you hear the birds singing? Can you see the flowers blooming?" Sans said.
"I have no idea what you are talking about." Edd said.

With the single movement of a hand, Sans has used his powers to pick up the child. Edd struggled in Sans' powerful grasp, arms flailing.
"Let me go this instant, you fiend!" Edd commanded. "Don't you want to know why I'm doing this to you and your friend?"
Sans started to consider this. He then looked towards Garfield. He hoisted himself up off the ground. He then looked at Sans. His gaze was gentle.
"Let him down. Just for now." said Garfield.
Sans dropped the child. He landed on his feet.

"Why are you trying to pick a fight, Edd?" Sans questioned.
"It's quite complicated, you wouldn't understand." Edd started. "However, if I must, I'll be obliged to answer." Edd lowered his guard and put one of his guns away.
"Sans, your vibe is so powerful. It's truly astonishing. Your charm and humor is also quite tantalizing." Edd continued. This confused Sans. Why was Edd showering him in all these compliments? It made him feel sick to the bone.
"What I'm trying to say is," Edd came upon one knee. "I'm hopelessly in love with you." He looked up at the skeleton's face, only to see a look of confusion and shock.
"Kid, you're crazy. There's no way I could ever feel the same way. I'm not some pedo!" Sans backed off.
"I know that much. That's why this whole time I've been trying to retain your glory! Every time someone would come to Townsville with a vibe that could challenge yours, I slaughtered them. I did this all for you, Sans!" Edd beamed. Sans found his false hope disgusting.
"Do you want to know what kind of bullets are in this gun?" Edd said looking at the singular pistol in his hand. Sans was bothered by him, but intrigued. He let him speak.
Edd pulled out a lone bullet out of his pocket. It shined in the light.
"These bullets are the key to the purification of society. We live in a society that revolves around the horny. In a perfect world, horny people would have no rights. These bullets will be the turning point of mankind AND monsterkind." Edd raised the bullet up like a priceless artifact.
"I call them the Anti Horny Society Repellent (tm). I made them myself. This can penetrate through any force and rid any bit of horny left in someone. However, I haven't had the chance to test them out just yet. Well..." Edd quickly aimed his gun back to Garfield. "Not until now."

He shot the cat in the heart. Garfield has fallen to his knees. Sans ran towards him in desperation.
"GARFIELD! GARFIELD LOOK AT ME! COME ON STAY WITH ME!" Sans came down and embraced the cat. Garfield coughed painfully.
"S-Sans." Garfield weakly tried to speak only to start coughing up again.
"No no no not like this." Sans choked up and started to cry. He held Garfield closer.
"I know we just met, b-but I just wanted to say, I have never felt so connected to someone like this before. I-I...you made me feel chill, Garfield. I...I love you." Sans' head dropped. He sniffled, hunched over Garfield.
Garfield reaches out a hand to his face and wiped off his tears. "It's gonna take more than a bullet to get rid of me. I need to recuperate." Garfield looked into Sans' eyes.
"Whoop his ass." He then proceeded to pass out.

Sans stood up and turned around. His eye glowed a bright blue.
"Forget it Sans, he's gone. You don't stand a chance!" Edd retrieved da strap yet again. He then shot at Sans, but before the blink of an eye, he had teleported behind him. Sans shot his hand up to the air, raising Edd towards the sky.
"Fuck fuck fUCK LET mE dOwN!!!!1!1!!"Edd struggled.
"On days like this, kids like you should be burning in hell." Sans flung his hand towards the ground. Edd dropped down with incredible speed. He smashed onto the sidewalk. The impact caused the ground to crack. He twitched in agony.

Sans was out of breath. His legs gave in. As he was about to fall, he was caught in a pair of arms. It was Garfield. He had recovered.
"You sure did a number on him..." Garfield smirked. He held Sans over his shoulder and continued to walk. He vibed harder than before.

He walked into the sunset. The battle was over. Now all that was left to do was to chill tf out.

"What the fuck- Y'all didn't pay for your food!" Grillby had ran out and shouted at them, but they were far too gone to hear him.