Stitches

Chapter 5

Your POV
Shawn won't stop. Every time I try to forget him, he sends me a letter or text and it's just going around in circles.
This morning I sit with Caitie before mentor. She asks "how is everything with Shawn?" I simply pass her the latest note he gave me.

Baby I'm so sorry. I love you. I tore you apart and I will never forgive myself for that. You deserve the whole fucking universe and I have ruined that. I would understand if you never forgave me but I need you. I hurt you and I've broken my own heart in the process. It's your heart, you make the decision. I love you. Shawn x

She is almost in tears by the end. 

"Bells this is beautiful."

 "I can't take him back. Not after what he did." 

"Don't you get it Bells? He messed up, and now he's trying to fix it. You should at least just talk to him and see what happens. Despite doing something so stupid, he loves you so much and he'd do anything for you. You just need to see it." She walks off and I tear up, her words truly sinking in. Maybe she is right...

At recess, I get another note. But I found it in my locker. I open it and frown. There are lines of words. Surely it's from Shawn, but it's different to any of the other notes.

You watch me bleed until I can't breathe

shaking, falling onto my knees

and now that I'm without your kisses,

I'll be needing stitches

Tripping over myself

aching, begging you to come help

and now that I'm without your kisses,

I'll be needing stitches

I don't know what to do so I just fold the letter and continue the conversation with the girls.

When the bell goes for lunch, Lily says 

"hey Bells, Caitie wants you to meet her in the music room." I nod and walk up. As I reach the room, I can't see Caitie anywhere. I open the door and it's dark inside. A single chair is placed in the middle of the room. I slowly go and sit down. Suddenly, the projector screen lights up and a video starts playing. A shiny black car drives through an empty car park and then it stops. The door opens, and out steps...Shawn! A song starts and he begins singing in the video. As he sings, he starts tripping over and falling, as if some invisible force is hurting him. The chorus begins, and the lyrics sound familiar. I pull out the note again and my eyes scan over the words as he sings them. My eyes immediately fill with tears. I watch as he falls, over and over, crashing through walls, each time gaining more cuts and bruises. I cry so hard it hurts. The lyrics, the video. This is how he feels. This is how he suffers. After it finishes, I just sit there, sobbing, speechless. I stand up and walk out. I walk along an empty corridor and then I see him rounding the corner. Shawn looks at me with slightly sleepy but surprised eyes and his lips are parted. I run to him as fast as I can and throw my arms around him. I hold him so tight and I don't want to let go. I sob into his chest and he hugs me as he buries his face in my hair. I feel his body relax, as if he is relieved. I soak him in. His lean body, familiar good smell and warmth. I've missed it so much. I mumble into his chest 

"I love you Shawn. I will never let you go." 

He lifts my head with his hands and he looks deep into my eyes. His are glazed from the tears. 

"I love you so much."

 He brings his lips to mine. I savour it, remembering how much I've missed his sweet kisses too.