INSANITY

Sitting on a chair where even light can't reach my eyes. . .I stay put, can't struggle. Both my arms and legs are binded on this metal chair. Reminiscing for my remaining life. . .I turned back and began to think where have I gone wrong? What part of my life is a conspiracy? Am I only dreaming?

As my blindfold slits down my face, I see cameras, reporters and the authority surround me. I yelled out of my sanity and despair. . . "What are you people looking at?! Do you know me?! Why are you here??! Is this a freak show?!!" heavily sighing in my head, I realized how pitiful I have become. I looked at my reflection on the brass plate near my wrist. . .I saw my previous self. . .

Im Jelo Basilio Fernandez, a very gifted student. Blessed in brain, looks and money I stand with pride. . .carrying my father's name. My image never once tainted. A valedictorian, a famous model and a wealthy successor. . .my life crumbled in my fourth year highschool.

Influenced by my so-called friends. . .I began to toast away my youth, liquior was raised and smoke was inhaled. The devil painted my conscience, I did a regretable thing other men could brag about- - - I had sex. . . and made some random girl pregnant in a party on a night club.

I took responsibilities for my actions and told my family about what I have done. . .but their once proud face shattered to dust. . .when the discussion started. Shouting is heard from one room to the other. It's full of heart aches. Their trust cannot be returned. I was excommunicated and kicked out of the house.

Struggling by myself, I used my brains to get out of this problem and to support my family. It was a never ending despair. . .I failed my college entrance exam. . .I couldn't find a stable job. My household is torn down and we're poor.

My pride cannot be seen anymore. . .my identity is unknown. The once proud and arrogant student is now begging. . . begging for alms. . .What have I done to myself. . . 

In a dark. . .rainy night. . .I was left standing on the corner of the road. My sight darkened, I could no longer recognize myself. . .I thought of commiting suicide and blame God for my current state. Then. . .I saw someone coming out from a university. A lady. . .wearing a silhouette and armed with big gems and expensive looking jewelry. . .I approched her silently. . .like a snake. . .stalking for his prey.

When she started to notice me, she ran . . .ran as fast as she could- -- but I was faster. I pulled her hair and assaulted her. She begged me "NO! PLEASE!! DONT!! DONT KILL ME!!" but I ignored her plea. I left her tucked under the grassy mills near to her death with deep bruises and cuts. . .I thought I got away. . .

A few weeks later, I was with my wife eating dinner with my kids. Then suddenly, someone knoced on my door, I opened it with anticipation hoping that it is a letter from my father. Much to my surprise. . .it was two policemen. Carrying a warrant of arrest . . .they looked me in the eye and told me "Mr.Fernandez, you are under arrest".

So, here I am. . .sitting in a cilia electrica waiting for my verdict to come.

Now- -"What are you looking at!? Do you know me? Who do you think I am??"

Quietly. . .slowly. . .patiently. . .sensing the last painful seconds of my life. . .I can no longer hear my heart beating. . .

Ahh- - -I must be . . .dead.