Just Friends
Written by: ForgetMeNot_436
Date: 10/11/12
This is a story of a girl who has fallen inlove to her bestfriend. But, her bestfriend is inlove with someone else.
What is wrong about loving someone? Is it when the one you love hurt you? Well, there’s really nothing wrong about it. It’s just that you choose to love someone who doesn’t feel the same way too. It’s a crazy little thing called “one sided love”.
It is indeed painful when you love your so called bestfriend, a love that is more than friends. A kind of love that you shouldn’t feel for your bestfriend ‘cause you know it isn’t right and you know that it might ruin the kind of friendship that you have for each other. But then you still did, secretly!
Why? Why you have fallen to your bestfriend? Is it because of the good and bad times you’ve shared together? Is it because you are concern for each other? Is it because of your squabbles and teases? Is it because you are used to the presence of that person and everytime he’s not around or everytime you don’t receive a call or a text from him you missed him so much? Or perhaps because you’ve known each other quite well even the smallest detail including the flaws and you’ve already accepted everything about it?
Do you think it’s alright to fall for your bestfriend? Well, everyone has our own voice about it. Me? I love my bestfriend. I’m afraid that he might find out about my feelings for him.
I’m a college student in ******** University. I have a partner in crime. She is a close friend of mine. She’s my friend in high school and up until now. Her name is Meggy. At present we’re senior students in our university, meaning we will be graduating soon, maybe (hehehe). By the way, I’m Irzha.
When we’re still freshmen, we have done many crazy things. Actually, even until now. Way back then, we have so many crush, individual and mutual crushes (hehehehe). But there’s this one guy that my heart has beat for. He’s name is Daen.
This guy is not even my crush. I just admire him because he got a look. Even my friends admired him. We have different courses. At that time we don’t know each other. We just have common friends. One of his classmate/friend named Idsil is also my friend when we’re still in high school. Idsil always teasing me and so as I everytime we see each other even if Daen and their other friend Jam is with him. And that’s why Daen and I have known each other. But by that time, we’re just ordinary friends. When we met in the campus, we just nod, smile or do nothing at all to acknowledge each other.
And then, there was a semester that we became classmates in one of the minor subjects that we’re taking. There, we became friends. We keep on teasing and mocking. We did sorts of things to irritate and annoy one another. But we just did that for fun. That becomes our habit for quite long time.
Not until we reach our junior year in college. I received a text message from an unknown number. The owner of that number was him, Daen. From that time, we keep in touch through phone. We keep on annoying and irritating each other in the phone. But something has changed. We’ve became close friends.
When did we become bestfriends? Hmmm, that was when he went to the dormitory where I was staying and a crazy woman come to us while we’re doing something on the laptop in receiving area in the dorm. She taps both our shoulders and we’re really shocked about it. No one speaks, no one moves between us and the crazy woman uttered something. She said something that we don’t actually understand. And then the woman left. After that, we’re laughing out loud. Oh, I forgot to mention that his classmate was also there. We’re all laughing and mocking. Days passed and we still can’t get over that incident. We keep on teasing each other if who’s bestfriend (bff) was the crazy woman. He said it was mine. I said it was his. But in the end, it’s me and him who became bff’s.
We do favors for each other. We sometimes have our meals together. We spent time together. I’ve become attached to him. I’ve fallen for him.
Everytime I’m with him, I’m acting as if everything is normal, and everything is just fine. I don’t wanna give him any idea of how happy I am when I’m with him. A kind of happiness that isn’t usual when it comes to a friend’s company. When I’m with him, I’m finding it hard to look directly in his eyes’ cause I’m afraid that he might find out my true feeling s for him. When I’m with him, I’m wishing that the time will run slowly, that the day wouldn’t end because it seems like forever having him with me. When I see him in school, I can’t hide my sweetest smile, it always appears on my face willingly and my heart is always saying “Oh! I love this guy”, but my mind would say, “but I know it isn’t rightL”.
I don’t wanna miss a call from him because even in the phone, when I hear his voice my day seems to be complete. Even a simple text message saying “bff” it will still touch my sweetbones that makes me feel “kilig”. But I know with him, it’s just an ordinary text message which he always send to me when he has nothing to do, when he gets bored. He doesn’t know how happy I am when we are texting each other. His message is the one I’m always waiting to appear in my inbox. It makes me feel sad when he doesn’t send me a sms knowing that he has a load balance. But then I don’t have the right to demand for his time. Who am I anyway? I’m just his friend, his bestfriend. Nothing more, nothing less. And that truth is slowly killing me inside ’cause I’ve assumed. Assuming makes me look pathetic but still I chose it that way because it gives me a little hope though there’s really nothing to hope for.
Confessing about my feelings? I guess that wouldn’t help. He might just reject me. I might just ruin our friendship.
I know he still loves his ex-girlfriend. He could be dubbed as “the man who can’t be moved”. (Hey! That’s one of the song of my favourite band, The Script J) I was there comforting him after their breakup, not really comforting but instead mocking him because comforting will only make him feel sad and regretting, whereas mocking will make him laugh and forget the pain even for just a moment. During that time, I’m also a brokenhearted. Not caused by him, but with my ex-boyfriend. Aside from that, we’re still not bestfriends during that phase. We’re still friends. Ordinary friends.
Time passed by, I thought he has really moved on but I was wrong. He still really loves his ex-girlfriend. He didn’t say it to me directly but I can see it in his eyes. The saying action speaks louder than words is perhaps right. I wanted him to tell but I was afraid to ask him because he might need to have a privacy on that matter and I was scared to hear the truth from his mouth that would say he still loves his ex-girlfriend and he is still hoping that their relationship will be back. So without any words from him, I just interpreted his actions and it only shows one thing, and it is the love for his ex-girlfriend.
I’ve never talked to him about that girl who has his heart. Maybe now they’re together again. And it tears me up inside.
My false hopes are the ones making my heart bleed. I love him, and I know that he loves me too as a friend. Well, I guess I should be contented with that. Keeping our good relationship as friends and loving him in silence.
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