Broken

Chapter 1

Here I am standing in front of the mirror, trying on my fifth outfit. I saw how the crop top showed my stomach, I hated it. All I can see is how fat I look. The diets i tried never worked because I always gave in. Why did I have to be such a pig? I didn't need to dress up, I was just going out to dinner with my mom. I shook my head and threw a hoodie over my shirt. It's better to hide my figure.

After an hour of waiting my mother finally told me to come outside so she can pick me up. I locked our apartment door and walked toward her car. I sat myself in the front. I looked over to my mom and watched how happy she looked talking to her boyfriend. It was like she didn't even notice I was in the car. She had stayed in New York for the past two days while I stayed in New Jersey. Shouldn't she be talking to me? She just saw her boyfriend. I'm more important to her, right? Was I not worth her attention? No, I need to stop being a attention whore. Why should i try to take her happiness away? I don't need her attention, I think. I looked out the window while I waited for my mother to end her call.

When we drove into the parking lot of the restaurant, she ended her call and looked over at me with a smile. "Hi Issy, sorry Alvin called me."

I shook my head and told her it was fine while I gave her a hug.

We exited the car and entered the restaurant. The waiter brought us to the table and brought us waters. I looked over the menu and picked what I wanted to order. I asked my mother what she wanted but she didn't respond. When I looked up at her, I saw her on her phone texting. As always, someone needed her attention. I want to grab her phone and tell her to talk to me but I know that will end up with her getting mad and yelling.

"It's work, let me just finish this conversation" she said while not looking toward me. It was always a work thing or her boyfriend. I just wish she would talk to me. I had no place to complain though, she's working hard so we can have a roof and that I can go to school. It's not her fault she has to work so many jobs, she's a single mom trying to make it.

Eventually the waiter came and took our orders. Mom was still on her phone as I just sat there. I could feel people looking over at us. I hated the thought of people looking at me.

When our food came, she finally out down the phone and we talked about the normal thing like what happened at school or what happened at her job. I wanted to tell her about how I had freaked out giving my presentation in front of the class. I wanted to tell her about how I thought that they all talked about how ugly I was or how stupid I sounded. I stayed quiet anyway, what's the point of giving her these burdens? She has enough shit to deal with, why should she have to worry about my thoughts.

When we arrived home that night, she got a phone call and walked into her room, locking the door. I shook my head. I hoped that we could watch a movie today but she gets mad when I interrupt her calls.

I put away the leftovers and fed our dog, Misu. It may sound pathetic but Misu was the only person I shared my thoughts with. The only one I told my true feelings to. I gave him a pat on the head and headed toward my room. Before I went in, I knocked on my mom's door and told her goodnight. I got no response back and just heard her talking to her boyfriend. I went into my room and climbed in bed.

Of course my thoughts went through my head again. Why does mom shut me out? Am I not worth her time? Why do I have to be such a bother by trying to get her attention? I turned off my light and shut my eyes.

I shouldn't be so ungrateful like this, my life isn't bad. I should be grateful.

With that thought, I fell asleep

Hi there. Plz tell me what you think and leave comments. I would love to know if anyone has had anything relating to this.