Trump caressed his wrists so that the pain would go away.
"Wow. I never knew being president was so hard. I need some Donny time," he said with a sigh. He had spent the last half hour signing bills and doodling himself onto said bills. He set down his pen and put the new legal document into the pneumatic tube in the Oval Office. He felt his wrists again and clapped his hands to be greeted near instantly by a Mexican child.
"Wow. They're sending me kids? Lousy democrats. Taco boy, get me some ice for my hands. Okay, bud?" Trump asked the small child.
"Yes, mister Trump," the boy replied as he saluted and dashed out of the room. Trump got out a Coors Light and a cigarette lighter just as the boy returned with frozen peas.
"Here you are, Trump!" He said, saluting again.
"Quit saluting me. It's only cool when an aryan does it. Anyways, thanks. You're dismissed," Trump said as he laid his hands on the sack of peas. The boy left the room and the doors closed because Trump willed them to. He let his hands sit for a minute or two and then picked up the Coors Light.
"Ah, time to relax," Trump said as he smoked the beer. He laid back in his chair and closed his eyes.
"Sigh, being president isn't easy." He took a few more hits from the beer and opened his eyes. He saw the walls turn inside out and colors splash all around. He though everything was okay until the floor turned into ants and he fell into them.
"Oh god! A bad trip!" Trump shouted. The CCTV showed Trump squirming on the floor for 49 minutes until he came back to his senses and backed up to the wall horrified. Melania entered the room and was almost as horrified as Trump.
"Trump! What's going on here?" She demanded with fear in her voice.
"I'm sorry my honey, I just had a bad trip. I'm never smoking a Coors Light again," Trump vowed.
"Trump, you're president! This is illegal, you can't be doing this! I don't even care if it's illegal, you need to stop. I'm staging an intervention for you Trump, I'm sorry," Melania said as she left the room.
"Wait!" Trump yelled,"We should talk this out now.
"Okay," Melania replied as she walked back into the room. "You shouldn't be doing this, Trump. You need a better outlet to the stress."
"You're right..."
"Why don't you play some golf? Or tennis? Or hell, go meet your friends?" Melania asked.
"My god, woman! You're a genius! I'm going to go have a play date with Kim!" Trump shouted as he opened his closet to grab his GoGo Squeeze sponsored suitcase.
"Wait, Trump, what do you mean? Today is our anniversary-"
"Yeah, yeah, let's reschedule that," Trump said as he packed clothes and toys at sonic speed, "I've got a hunk to meet."
"Ugh. Fine," Melania sighed, "just don't commit sin against nature or adultery, okay? Promise?"
"Promise." Trump said as he kissed her on the cheek. "I have a flight to catch, I've set the anniversary to the 23rd. Love you!"
"Love you too." Melania replies as she watched the gorgeous man exit the white palace they called home. The secret service tried to stop Trump before he exited claiming fake news like "assassination threats" and "your life is at risk," but Trump just dismissed it. He didn't have time to listen to liberals, he only had time to listen to classic hits such as Screw the Nether (Moves Like Jagger Parody) and "Hunger Games Bajan Canadian Song" - A Minecraft Parody of Decisions by Boregore (Music Video) through his Apple AirPods. He called in a flight while he was in the Oval Office so that he wouldn't have to wait (like a liberal) for a plane to arrive, at least wait while he was outside of the White House. Trump made his way to the newly installed presidential runway and was greeted by the sleek jet black private jet.
"Man, if this plane were white, it'd look way cooler. Too bad it's black," Trump muttered as he clenched his fists for a moment then walked to the opening door of the jet. Stairs folded down from the doorway and Trump walked up them to see who his pilot would be, however there was no pilot; it was being piloted by some sort of stupid AI called "SkyNet" that just sounded like another Democrat fake news company. Although he didn't want to let his life fall into the hands of a liberal, he was too lazy to do anything about it, sitting down on one of the seats and pulled out his phone to browse DeviantArt for furry toes. Sadly, his phone was forced onto airplane mode, so another one of Trump's stress outlets were knocked out. He tried thinking of something else to do, falling asleep in the process, which was good enough in his eyes, which were closed (duh).
When Trump woke up at Pyongyang International Airport, he was being poked at with a stick. Trump, being a heavy sleeper, looked like he had died on the airplane, so the guards at the airport had thought that the president had died mid-air. Before they could get the body out of the seat, Trump woke up and they dropped him on the floor.
"Hey, be careful! My toupee costs more than what you get paid..." Trump said as he stood up and dusted himself off.
"Sir! Beautiful bee. Horny ape sprite. Glorious leader come. Be." One of the soldiers tried to tell Trump. All of their language was lost in translation so Trump stood in astonishment.
"Damn illegal ingredients need to learn english..." He said as as he left the plane, went through the airgate, and found himself in the heart of the Pyongyang International Airport. He took a seat on a child in a baby carrier because he didn't have an adult to tell him what to do for once and waited. After a couple of minutes, he saw a familiar beastly glorious figure approach him.
