starting a new life (cont)

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I wanted to talk to ray about his job. he's always leaving his family, like today he had to leave for tour. he's coming back in a week. I looked at j'kayla who is now 6, and sighed.

j'kayla: where's dad?
me: I don't even know, all I know is he is on tour.
j'kayla: he always is somewhere, he ain't never got time fo'  us
me: j'kayla that is not true. when he leaves it really is to help us-
j'kayla: that's right it's better if he stays gone

j'kayla then stormed off into the kitchen, leaving me wondering if j'kayla is right. Ray has been gone for most of her life and he has never been to any of her Milestones. I started wonder if ray would be present for Elijah's birth. I began to cry. I can't take it anymore. Ray is no longer allowed back on tour. that's final.

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