I woke up in the middle of the night catching my breath. I feel like I was chased by pack of wolves and that I was running breathlessly. Tumayo ako mula sa kama at lumabas ng kwarto. Dumiretso ako sa kusina at uminom ng malamig na tubig. I was having a nightmare but I can't remember what was it about. I stared on the glass of water that I am holding blankly. I looked closely and I started seeing my own reflection on it. My face is oily. Hinaplos ko ang pisngi ko at basa iyon. I smelled my hand and even tasted it. It is salty. I cried? My cheeks are wet. I must be crying from my sleep. But why? Napasabunot ako sa buhok ko. Wala akong maalala. Gulong-gulo ang utak ko. I've been having nightmares since yesterday.
I stared on my surroundings. I am inside my condominium. I was told it was mine and that my name is Emelyn Marie Zamora. I clutched my chest tightly. I feel hollow. I feel miserable, incomplete, longing, agony and everything that indescribable. Pero wala akong maalala na dahilan kung bakit ako nagkakaganito at kung para saan at kanino ang nararamdaman kong ito. My chest is getting more painful I can hardly breath.
"Ahhh!" I hurried inside my bathroom still clutching my chest to find any pain killer. I am trembling. I am sweaty and yet I feel cold. My tears started to wet my cheeks one after the other until it blur my vision.
"Arrrgghhh!" I clutched my chest one more time. Mas mahigpit. Sa nanlalabo kong paningin, hinalungkat ko ang laman ng medicine cabinet. Nahulog at nagkalat sa sahig ang ibang laman ng cabinet until I found an Advil. I took it right away. Sinubsob ko ang mukha ko sa gripo sa sink at doon ako uminom ng tubig para malunok ko ang gamot. Para akong nanlalantang gulay na dumausdos mula sa sink hanggang sa mapahiga na ako sa sahig ng bathroom pagkatapos kong makainom ng gamot. I am catching my breath as if I am running out of oxygen. Sabog na sabog ang buhok ko. Naghalo ang luha at pawis ko sa mukha. I still feel miserable and tired. Hindi ko kayang ipaliwanag ang kahungkagan na nararamdaman ko. I wanted to cry to ease the pain. Pero bakit? Bakit ang sakit sakit? Saan galing 'to? Hinayaan ko ang sarili kong umiyak at mahiga sa sahig. This feels like I've been doing this for a longest time.
The pain subsided but not totally. Nanatili akong nakahiga sa malamig sa tiles ng bathroom nang bigla akong makarinig ng doorbell mula sa main door. Dahan dahan akong tumayo mula sa sahig at lumabas ng banyo. Pumunta ako sa main door at binuksan iyon.
Bumungad sa mukha ko ang malapad na dibdib ng isang lalaki. Umatras ako ng kaunti saka nagtaas ng tingin. Then I found a Korean guy smiling fondly at me. I'm sure he is Korean. Sobrang tangkad niya kaya hanggang dibdib niya lang ako. He is more than average looking compared to other Korean men that I am seeing around. In short, sobrang gwapo nitong kaharap ko. Ang tangos ng ilong. Hugis puso ang natural na mapupula niyang labi. Ang kinis ng balat at ang ganda ng mga mata. Makapal ang itim na itim na buhok nito at bumagay sa mukha niya ang wavy at medyo messy na hairstyle. He looked cute and fresh.
"I will be leaving soon." He said as his expression changed from being pleasant to blue.
"Ha?" Hindi ko siya maalala.
"I-I'm sorry. Pero baka nagkamali ka ng condo na pinuntahan. Hindi kita kilala." I said and he just smiled sadly at me. I turn around to check what time is it on my wall clock and its 11:45 in the evening, almost 12 midnight. Anong ginagawa ng lalaking ito dito sa condo ko?
"Hahanapin ko siya Em." The name echoed inside my head and I felt my heart palpitated. A very familiar pain started to rose again.
"Don't look for me when I disappear." He continued.
Hindi ako sumagot at hinayaan kong tumagos sa puso ko ang bawat salita na binibitawan niya. Bawat salita, sobrang bigat. Bawat salita, sobrang sakit. My tears started to well in my eyes. Hindi ko naman kilala ang lalaking ito pero bakit sobrang sakit niya magsalita na para bang matagal na kaming magkakilala at may malalim kaming pinagsamahan.
