Confessions of a Llamaholic

Never Trust An Alpaca

NEVER TRUST AN ALPACA (which is very very true)

Once upon a time there lived a llama called Ninja. Ninja was a ninja llama hence the name. One day there came a karate alpaca called Koko. Ninja didn't like alpacas and started to spit at Koko. He didn't like it and started to get angry. He began to karate chop Ninja because he was a karate alpaca. But Ninja was so ninja that he turned himself invisible and Koko couldn't see Ninja. Ninja started to laugh and it creeped Koko out so he ran home.

Once he was home, he went into the lounge and saw his Alpaca family eating grass salad with grass pizza and grass flavored lemonade. He sat down and pretended nothing was wrong and ate his grass meal which tasted like grass. His mama told him to go to bed and his papa went into the tv room to watch a grass cooking program. His older sister went into her room to listen to grass direction whilst watching her pet human eating her Maths homework because alpacas don't need Maths for eating grass. So Koko went into his room and turned the light switch on so he could see his grass colored room. He felt a chilly breeze coming in through the window so he went to shut it, but he was sure that he closed it, when suddenly he felts someone's hands on his back pushing him out of his window.

He started to scream when he remembered that his window was 30cm from the ground. He gotta face full of grass but that was okay because grass was yummy and he licked his lips. He looked behind and saw no one. He shivered but it wasn't because he was cold it was because he was scared. The karate alpaca was scared! What a joke! He started to randomly karate chop the air and he looked funny because there no one was there. Ninja suddenly appeared out of thin air but thats only because he was camouflaged into the air before. Koko shrieked but Ninja quickly placed his black hooves over his mouth.

"I've decided to try and be friends with you" he said "for now" he muttered afterwards under his breath. 

Koko didn't hear the last bit because he hadn't listened to his mama telling him to clean the fur out of his ears.  

"Yay!" he exclaimed. He had never had a llama friend because his papa was always saying that if you got on the wrong side of a llama he could spit you to death. But he was an alpaca and alpacas were nice. (authors note: 'supposedly').

They spit into their hooves and shook them. Koko could swear that he heard a little sizzle happening inside their hooves. He looked down and gasped as he saw yellow smoke rising from their hooves. 

"Oops sorry," apologized Ninja, "I forgot that I spit lemon acid." he smiled sheepishly which was stupid because he was a llama and not a sheep.  

"Anyhoo," he added, "I've got a really really really really REALLY cool place I found when I went ninja exploring." Ninja made wild gestures with his hands as he was speaking, making him seem even more ninja than his name. Koko's eyes sparked with delight, excited for this new discovery.  

"So when do we go?" he said.  

"Right now, pussy!" Ninja exclaimed. 

"I'm no pussy! I'm a Karate Alpaca!" He cried out, flexing his non-existing muscles. 

"Oh" was all he said. 

Ninja and Koko were creeping through Koko's house, everyone else asleep. They packed necessary things needed, like some spare clothes (not that they wore any anyway), toothbrush/paste (which was grass flavored) and grassie bars, graster eggs, grass bursts and some healthy stuff too including, you guessed it, grass, grass, and more grass (plus weeds and the occasional daisy). They creeped back out again, on the very tip tip toes of their hooves. When they got outside they saw a deer filing his nails while waiting for any customers for his 'taxi service' which was really a battered old cart. He looked up and saw Ninja and Koko silently sneaking their way down through the garden full of grass (of course).

"Howdy partners!" he exclaimed in a southern accent which was really weird for that part of town, "what are you up to on this fine night." Ninja and Koko glanced at each other but decided to take the risk.  

"We found this really exciting place that we are gonna go and visit!" Ninja said. The deer pointed to the name tag on his chest.  

"My name is Derek the Deer and I am gonna tag along and take you to this mysterious destination of yours." said Derek the Deer 

"Woop Woop!" they all celebrated but realized that they should probably tone it down because they didn't want to wake up the whole neighborhood. They quickly hopped into the squeaky cart and sped off into the night.

As Derek was pulling the cart and Ninja was telling Derek the directions, Koko was thinking. He was thinking about Ninja. He thought about why Ninja was being so friendly to him, because llamas and alpacas aren't usually friends. He was thinking about how it might be a trick, with his 'Ninja Llama Army' waiting for them to arrive in a trap or something. Koko narrowed his eyes. Maybe his papa had been right. Maybe llamas were never meant to be friends with alpacas!

Koko had a plan. It involved being evil but that was fine because it was also like being a hero if Ninja was being evil to him first. But then he thought of Derek the Deer and how the evil thing might affect him, but then Koko thought that he might be teamed up with Ninja. Satisfied, he began to put his evil plan into place. He began to pretend that he felt car sick so that Derek pulled over. He quickly hopped out of the cart and ran towards the trees, pretending to be sick. Ninja, alarmed, galloped towards Koko. As Ninja neared, Koko lashed out a kick, and a karate chop and many more secret karate moves that the author cannot mention. But Ninja, being a ninja llama defended himself, turning invisible and flipping, twisting and kicking in mid air. And Koko couldn't see any of it. He sprinted for the cart, pushed Derek away and ran off with it, somewhere that he thought was the direction of his home. Derek, who was oldish, and Ninja, who was energetic and ninja, just stayed there and watched Koko gallop off, in the completely wrong direction, not that he knew that.

"I think we've learnt an important lesson today, Derek," Ninja said after a while. 

"Yea, what's that?" Derek the Deer asked. 

"Never Trust An Alpaca." he replied. 

And with that, they walked off to the place Ninja wanted to show Koko; the land of the unicorns.

THE END!

A/N I love llamas. Like, really love them :D. So I made this. I think there MAY be a sequal to this, llamas and unicorns . . . . This could turn out fun! I really hoped you enjoyed this 'fanfic' of mine, I know I enjoyed writing it!! Farewell,

Bianca xx