spaces | grayson dolan

𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚢

The cemetery is quiet today. Usually people are visiting their loved ones on the weekends, but this Saturday has a longing void to it. Oddly enough, I like the peaceful nature of it. It's more intimate, more personal. It gives me more time to really collect my thoughts.

Grayson holds onto my hand, squeezing it for support. The hand not intertwined with Grayson's is holding a bouquet of sunflowers. I thought it was appropriate for the occasion.

Walking over to my brother's grave feels different today. Maybe because today is day one of a fresh start, a new adventure in my life.

The sadness I felt a few months back has slowly crept out of my soul. A part of me will always be broken, but the pain can be numbed by love and happiness.

This time, I am not wheeling my bicycle up to his tombstone. My diary isn't about to be filled with my sad thoughts, or how depressed I am. I have a plane to catch, and that is step one of the healing process.

When we approach his grave, my heart sinks into my stomach. The sight will always pain me, even though I was with my brother not too long ago.

Hunter Patrick Myers
December 6th, 1997 - August 18th, 2018
A beloved son, brother and friend.

"Wow. I can't believe this." I say, inhaling a sharp breath. "The words still don't seem real, even a year later."

"I know." Grayson says while looking down at the engraved writing.

I kneel and place the sunflowers in front of his grave. My hand automatically reaches up to touch the outline of his name.

"Hey, Hunt. It's been awhile since we had a good talk."

"I still can't believe the entire thing was real. I feel like I didn't get to meet him." Grayson's voice is low and filled with sensitivity.

"It was real, very much real." I mumble. My eyes are already filling with tears.

"Hunter, as much as I annoyed you, I just want you to know how much I respect you. You were a genuine, happy soul. I wish we had more time together." Grayson shakes his head back and forth.

"I'm doing it. I'm actually getting out of Renton, can you believe that?" I laugh, and so does Grayson.

My wish for a while was to escape this deadbeat town. Living here without my brother was weird, and an adjustment I didn't want to get used to. But the main concern was where. Where would I go? How would I get there? When is the right time to go?

"You already saw this coming, I know that for a fact, but it's the truth. Mom and dad are actually allowing me to not only leave the state, but the country."

"They must really trust me." Grayson mutters, allowing me to laugh again.

"They do, they know you're a good guy." I turn to look at my savor, and he's smiling brightly at me. Rubbing my lips together, a tear runs down my cheek. He's quick to catch it with the pad of his thumb.

"A wise man once told me that you, Grayson Dolan, are rough on the surface but deep down, your soul is pure. It's filled with light. You're one of the good ones, whether you realize it or not."

His smile is pure magic. I wish I could capture it in a bottle and hold onto it for safekeeping. "Thanks, Hunter."

"But, Hunt, we have this whole three month trip to Europe planned and booked for us. And it came out of nowhere."

"Good things happen unexpectedly." Grayson points out.

"God, I can't wait to travel. It was always something I wanted to do." I let out a happy sigh.

"And now we get to do it together." Grayson leans over to place a kiss on my forehead. The gesture warms my heart.

"What are you most excited for?" I turn to look into his eyes. "I can't wait to eat pasta in Italy."

"Probably seeing the Eiffel Tower. Paris is the city of love, after all." He grins.

"I can't wait to just melt into Europe." I giggle before looking back to Hunter's tombstone. "But before we head to the airport, we needed to see you. I would never leave without saying goodbye."

"We got justice for you. It wasn't easy, but your brave sister over here knocked it out of the park." Grayson boastfully states.

"Kyle is in jail, he's actually paying for what he did to you. I know it doesn't really change anything now, but he got what he deserved." I cringe at the thought of him.

"How's the cottage? Did it disappear?" Grayson jokingly asks.

"Gray and I talk about it every single day. I hope the sunflowers are growing even bigger." My eyes widen at the thought.

"Hope and I plan on moving somewhere close to a sunflower field." I love how Grayson is directly addressing Hunter along with me. It makes this visit even more special.

"Preferably in New Jersey." I quickly add.

"Yeah, the only time we would come back to Washington would be to visit you." Grayson says.

"And mom and dad." I quickly add.

My parents have been extremely supportive of my decision to live my life to the fullest. They think I deserve the best, and I couldn't agree more.

"Yeah, can't forget them." Grayson nods.

I inhale a deep breath and bite down on my lower lip, trying to stop the tears from exploding out of my eyes. "I love you so much. I miss you everyday, but I know you're always with me. You're probably sitting next to us right now."

"He definitely is." Grayson grins.

"You wanted me to live my life with everything I had in me, Hunter. And I finally am. I'm no longer the sad, tragic girl who lost her brother. I'm starting fresh, becoming someone new. It's all thanks to your encouragement."

"We should really head to the airport now." Grayson mutters.

"I know. It's just, this is goodbye for awhile." The thought pains me, I hate leaving my brother.

Not being able to visit his grave every day will feel like a part of me is missing. I've been extremely loyal, but sometimes rituals break. Life takes you on a different path, I know that more than anyone.

"When we come back, we'll visit you immediately." Grayson promises.

"Okay, I think I'm ready now." I smile and stand up, my lip is quivering more than ever.

"Bye Hunt, watch over us in Europe." Grayson looks back at me.

"I love you, Hunter." I whisper, before turning back to my boyfriend. He's extending his arms out, already waiting to embrace me.

I rush into his arms and hug him as tight as ever. He wraps his arms around my back and pulls me even closer to him. I squeeze my eyes shut and enjoy this peaceful moment.

"I love you so much, Grayson. Thank you for saving my life." I murmur into his chest.

"You did the same for me, H. We're soulmates, we would have found each other eventually." He whispers into my ear.

"I'm ready to start this next chapter with you." I smile.

"Come on, Italy is calling our names." He beams while heading toward the exit of the cemetery.

"Let's go." I smile and walk with him hand in hand.

It's funny how fate plays a major role in what will happen in your life. As I take one last glance over my shoulder to sneak a peek at Hunter's grave, I feel many different positive emotions.

I feel happy, overjoyed, reborn, but most of all- I feel hopeful. Hopeful of a better life, a bright future, and major success.

The storm in my life has passed, and now I'm ready to embrace the sunshine. And of course, the most important aspect of all, the sunflowers.

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last chapter of the story, the epilogue will be up soon 💕