Billie Eilish Imagines

The Fucking Dinner Party (pt.3)

I sigh and run Billies brush through my hair. I can't deal with this bullshit I can't- I shake my head to try and calm myself down. I mean this is a dinner party... with Billies family. It makes me feel like I'm completely invading. What will Maggie say when she sees me? I start to think about the conversation I overheard last night.

"Y/n, why you trippin off your ass? It's just me, you, Finn, and Claudia," she says.

She was looking through her chains and rings, figuring out which to put on. I guess she could tell I was anxious. I go and lay in her bed, checking my phone. I didn't really want to express how I felt at the moment, I didn't want to have her grow tired of me already.

I check my Instagram to see dozens of tags, with people apologizing for all of the bullshit from last nights concert. I like some of the pictures and post a picture of half my face for my story.

I wrote: I love you babies, let's just all love everyone. Fuck drama, shits over rated.

Billie plops down next to me and pulls my face roughly towards hers.

"Billie!" I say completely taken aback.
    
I didn't think she would be that rough, apparently so.

"What is wrong fucking damn bro," she says aggravated.

Anger starts to boil inside me, "Nothing is wrong Bil. Have you ever thought for a second that all of this is extremely batshit crazy for me?? I'm just trippin off my ass about it, I don't even have time to process!"

She stares my in my eyes, a frown on her face. I could see the sides of her lips twitch down more.

My face softens, "Please don't be upset I- shit I can't believe I just-"
    
I sigh and put my hand on the back of my neck. I try and face the other way but Billie crawls into my arms, making me stay put.

She grabs my face, making me look at her as she says, "I get it y/n.. I just, I'm not sure okay? I don't think I could let your talent just go to waste. And I get that you have anxiety, I can't say that I've been through it because I haven't. So I'm not really sure how to handle it. Please teach me so I can help you."
    
I part my lips and open my mouth trying to say something. Why is she doing this?

I shake my head and wrap my arms around her, falling back on her bed, "Just hold me please. And talk. Can we please talk about what the hell is going on?"

She gets out of my embrace and pulls me into her chest. I sigh and get comfortable in her arms. I'm not sure I could just forget this ever happened..

"What do you need to talk about?" She asks softly.
    
She starts to play with my hair as I say, "I get that you're trying to help me. I get that you want Finn to hear my music and I get how all this shit happened. But what I don't get is why this is happening."

I motion to our position, and look into her eyes, "I get emotionally attached so easily and it doesn't make it any better that you're actually the person who saved my fucking life."
    
She doesn't respond for a moment. She holds me closer in her arms, her lips touching my forehead. My heart was beating so fast, did I really just say that to her?

"I-" she starts to say something but groans loudly, "I don't know y/n. All I know is that I really like what this is. And I don't want it to stop. I don't want you to just leave out of my life, and it's been so frustrating."

I sigh and burry my face in her neck, "Me too."
    
"Can we just.. I don't know. Can we just keep things like this? I don't want-" Billie sighs loudly in frustration.

I pull my head away from her chest and look into her eyes, "We can Bil. I get it."

She looks down and smiles before looking me in the eyes again, "Good. Common, we got to head to their house, don't wanna to be late."

***

"You want me to listen to her music?" Finneas asked.

We were all sitting around their new dinning room table. It was so beautiful, everything was white and clear, with a hint of wood in places.

"Yea Finn you have no idea how good she is," Billie says. She was stuffing her face with this new dish Claudia made.

I had to admit it was pretty good. I'm not vegan nor gluten free, but I wouldn't mind trying it.

"What's your genre?" Finneas looks at me.

I look at him and say hesitantly, "W-well I don't exactly have a certain type of genre, I just like to portray different emotions. This EP I was trying to release, was filled with like, emotions that portrayed the color of pastels."

"Are you fucking kidding me bro that's so fire," Billie says in awe.

It was hard to believe that Billie was so amazed at my writing. My thoughts.

Finneas smiles and nods, "Jeans and t-shirt songs?"

I nod back, "Yes! I didn't want to say that and sounds weird. My producers thought it was too corny."

He shakes his head and points his finger at me, "We're definitely going to play around with something tonight."

I start to blush. Is this real?

***

"Mhm my middle name became your obsession.." Me and Finneas have been sitting in his studio for about an hour now, as I strummed the uke and sat in front of the mic. I told him this song was meant to be soft like the pastel yellow, but also it's supposed to express freedom and to conquer something that was hard. We added base and drums with the uke.

"I think this could be ready soon," he murmurs to himself.

"Ready?" I ask.

He spins around in his chair, "I really like your vibe y/n. Your music is so unique and I know Billie is right, you are worth something huge."

I start to smile, "Jesus, that's a bit much to hear. You've always been my biggest inspiration."

He scoffs, "Well Thats honestly a fucking honor to hear. It's so hard to believe I mean, did you really not have any type of experience with song writing until recently?"

I shake my head no.

"No, I've just recently started to pick it up. I knew I was a good writer, I just decided to put some music behind it." I said.

"What made you start writing?" He asks.

I grown quiet, and start to pull on my fingers. I take a second before answering. "Well, it's kinda a really hard story to tell." I say quietly.

Finneas touches my hand and squeezes it, "I know it can be difficult to speak about things that have harmed us in the past, and that it is easier to write about it through music. You are doing the right thing, and I can tell that you will end up helping many others as well. Keep your head up and know your worth y/n."

I look up at him and laugh as a tear slides down my cheek, "So what if I am good at writing and I'm a good singer? What if I can't mentally handle all of the other shit that comes with it?"

"I will guide you through this. And I know Billie will too.. I can tell that she really likes you. She's not going to let go of you." He says reassuringly.

I nod my head and wipe my tears from my face. Wow, I'm such a little bitch right now.

After recording some of the new harmonies we decided to add, I decided to call it a night. It was about 3am. I was surprised we recorded for that long. I went out of the room to find Billie sleeping in the spare bedroom. I was so tired myself. I debated on waking her up, or falling asleep with her.

Finneas comes up behind me and whispers, "Just crash here tonight, it's okay."

I turn around and nod, thanking him, before kicking off my flats and laying in the bed with her. It felt empty not to be cuddling with her, so I scooted closer to her and nudged my way into her arms. She woke up a little and noticed it was me.

She smiled and pulled me close before asking sleepily, "How was it?" I smile and wrap my arms around her, almost asleep myself.

"I'll tell you in the morning. Goodnight Bil."

She yawns and lays her lips on my forehead before saying, "Goodnight mama."

Sooo more coming soon 💛