The Reticent One

Must Be Nice

Ray - POV

Most days, I can forget about how alone I really am. Today though the loneliness screamed at me from deep within my soul. It seemed to be impossible to ignore.

"Where's Gezelle?" Charles nudges my shoulder. We're in front of our homeroom watching as the other students walk along the hall. Everyone's faces smudge together in my mind, no one distinguishable from the other. Everyday that I step foot into this building I'm reminded...

I take a long blink to ground myself.

"Not sure..." I look down at my feet as I begin to walk down the hallway. Without thinking about it my shoulders have begun to slouch, my body tries to appear as small as possible.

"How come she hasn't been coming around lately?" He keeps asking questions as if it wasn't already obvious.

"She's... busy I guess."

"Oh," Charles finally gets the hint.

We've only been friends for a short time but I think he's one of the few who actually cares. After all, he's still here right beside me even after everyone has turned their backs to me.

"By the way, me and the guys were going to go to the town square and watch a movie, want to come?"

The friends I had abandoned me. Now, I wasn't ever a first option. I was never going to be an option again. I would never be at least not in this decrepit school.

"Have you told them you wanted to invite me?"

"Uh.."

As angry as I am... I don't want people to lose friends because of me. Not Gezelle or Charles, he deserves to keep the normalcy in his life. I'll distance myself if that's what it takes. Completely being alone is okay. I'll still be okay. If all I can do is protect him from me then I will.

"Don't worry about me man, I have homework I need to catch up on anyway," I chuckle lightly.

Charles looks at me for a moment. I instinctively turn away, I can't look back at him because if I do I'll see the look he has on his face. I hate that look. It's just pity. But I guess that's better than the latter- disgust.

"If you say so," He pats my back roughly and the vomit that was threatening to fly out my mouth sunk back into my stomach. He rushes off and then I feel another pat on my back. It's a thin hand that lingers for a little too long.

"Sup' Ray," Melany's grating voice reaches my ears and I take a deep long breath trying to compose myself. I ignore her and try to keep walking.

"How rude!" Melany walks faster to keep up, her legs are long enough to match my gait.

"Don't you have class right now?" I say turning the corner sharply. Although most people try to avoid me, Melany is the person I'm trying to actively avoid.

"I do, you just so happen to be heading the same way," She laughs, shaking the seashells dangling from her dreads as she does.

"Mel," A monotone voice reaches out to both of us. My body freezes, my eyes look up to see who is ahead of me. Just a few feet away, her aura grounded me. While the rest of the students in the hall go around me in a blur of motions her features are highlighted in my vision. Her deep red eyes enshroud any and all of her emotions.

I remember her. Her perfect face, her piercing eyes. "Caro-" My hand flies to my mouth to stop myself.

"Caroline," Melany walks over to her right side. On her left is Skylar, the most popular girl in school who even has her own fan club. And a few other students who rank way above me.

But my eyes don't register their faces, only hers. "Hi," The word comes out softer than I had hoped. Nibbling on the inside of my cheek I wait for a response from her. But as soon as my greeting reaches her ears those red sharp eyes of hers shift onto me. Her bangs sweep to the side softly as she tilts her head.

What is she thinking?

I wait for her to respond but she never does, her eyes simply drift back to Melany. Ouch. I should be used to people's cold shoulders but I've come to realize I don't think I'm strong enough for that. I face away from her but still steal glances from the corner of my eye.

"I told you to stop bothering people," Her voice is so penetrating, looking at her small stature it's hard to think it's her talking. Yet her presence itself is commanding, something about her draws you in. I wonder if everyone else feels it? They must... My eyes trail down her entire frame as she talks to Melany. Only a dead man would be unable to feel her presence.

"But he was right in front of me! I can't miss an opportunity!" Melany laughs to herself.

"Let's get to class! We're gonna miss the first bell," One of the girls in the group fixes her blazer and struts off. They all follow behind her at their own pace.

As she walks past me, the smell of freshly fallen rain envelopes me like a dense fog and the second she's gone it vanishes. That sensation somehow relieves some of my stress. My heart instinctively reaches out to try and hang onto that feeling but it fails miserably. I turn my head slowly to watch her as they walk away.

All of them are known for something, all of them are special. Caroline... Everyone knows she's untouchable. Skylar guards her like a dog. But all on her own she's attracted everyone to her. She's a girl from nowhere that no one can read. She's a mystery. Something makes me want to get to know her, to learn what she thinks and how she works. I'm drawn to her. But I'll never learn anything. No one wants to get near me since freshman year, and it's all that monster's fault. Yet everyone blames me. It must be nice to live life normally, like them. Like her.