Loss of Words

Loss

"You beat me at all the games. Why don't I pick one for a change?"

I nodded. Sure, why not? I was certain of my capabilities to beat Lampy no matter the game. I sensed his chord moving, plug pushing under his chin as he thought. We're in the back yard of the cottage. It's cool out, with a soft breeze. Flowers line the yard, pinks and violets. I can practically hear Lampy thinking over the sound of birds singing.

"Hey! I know! How about hide and seek?"

I fought the urge to laugh. Of course, he'd pick that game. It's the obvious choice when I can't see. I knew better, the others knew better, but I'd best entertain the lamp, and, honestly, myself while I can.

"Sure, buddy! I'll find you lickety split, just you watch! How long do ya want me to count for?"

And so for a minute I counted, tapping the ground with my antenna to make a simple beat as I did so. I could hear Lampy hop off, and soon the sound faded. I didn't lose confidence, I'd find him no issue. I hit sixty, called out here I come! And set off. I leapt off the porch and into the grass, blades tickling my underside. Nothing in the backyard has changed position wise, and so I explore with ease, tuning in on myself, and looking. Near the cottage side, near the rose bush, near the leaning shed. Nope.

I pause, then feel my way behind the shed, and that's when I know where he is. I fight my way out from behind the shed, through all the weeds and thorny bristles. I pull the door of the shed open, enjoying the threatening creak it gave, and made my way inside. I travelled around slowly, tripping often. I don't know what's in here, so I'm slow and hold my antenna and chord out before me to feel about. I climb my way to the back left corner of the shed. Soon I'm only two feet from Lampy, and I point directly at him, standing atop something soft, probably a carpet.

"Found ya!"

"Wha? How? Wait-" his presence shifted. "Where's my head now?"

I pointed to the left, easy.

"B-bu-but how?!"

"Come on, let's head outside-and remember, no one can beat the world renowned explorer and mountaineer!"

As soon as we were outside the warmth of the sun filled me and I shook, feeling clouded in dust from the shed. How often did the Masters parents go in there anyways? Lampy made his way to the cottage, head drooping, and I hurried to catch up with him.

"Hey now, you wanna really know how I found you?"

"Well yeah, it's like some weird witchy magic witch stuff!"

I was stuck between amused and offended. Either way, I answered.

"It's this thing we can do, when we don't have uh... Faces. We can sense where other people are, and their general form. But you're absolutely right, we can't see. That's why I, heh, moved so slowly in that shed."

Lampy was staring at me in that inquisitive position of his. Then he flared, and he spoke as if rejuvenated.

"Like telekinesis!"

"Uhhhhhh... Sure?"

"So you'll never see the world? Wow."

"Well, maybe someday I can. I've found others like me that can see, somehow. But they say there is a price. Never will tell me though."

"Hmmm... Hey! You think someone else will join us this summer?"

And just like that, the conversation was dropped. Lampy could switch topics like a light turning on or off in the room. I guess that's only logical, with him being a lamp. We're entering the cottage, and he holds the door open for me.

"Thanks buddy... Perhaps, Master really wanted toast all last summer and they were getting tired of making it in the oven..."

"Do you mean we'll get a toaster?"

"Or those bread oven thingamajiggies. We'll just have to wait and see."

"Oh I can't wait till summer! It will be great!"

I chuckle, Blanky draping over me for a hug, then over Lampy. He always welcomed us inside, and I patted him on the head with my antenna. Yes, everything was more than swell, grand and comfortable. And while the prospect of someone new was interesting, I was quite happy with Lampy by my side, and knew then and there, I could never leave him.

~

I wake due to everyone's panicked energy, though the yelling helps too, and the rain pelting my plastic body.

We're in a forest, full of leaning, tall pine trees. Maybe redwoods, I had asked Lampy to describe the area to me. After everything, he still would never refuse to do so. I don't like the forest, it has a dooming sense to it.

I hear the thunder boom, over and over, so I know the Lightning is constant. I don't see it, but I can feel his absence. Blanky is gone. He had been acting as our tent for the night, draping himself over a branch and protecting us all in our sleep.

We all scramble, me staying in the general vicinity of the others as I followed. Toaster clings to Blanky, but the wind, buffeting our every side, sweeps him away, and soon his presence is no longer tangible. I don't know where he is.

We all run. We all sprint. We rush. We yell and cry out and search and I hear the click of Lampy turning on his light. And we search further. We are frantic. On and on. Then I hear Lampy's light flicker out, low of charge. He heads to the battery on the chair we use for travelling, his presence fading out of my radius and for the first time I feel real panic.

Then Kirby yells the battery is dead.

My hope sinks like the Titanic. But I'm never expressing feelings, or lack of feelings like that. So I continue searching, acting brave, calling out, yelling. We all continue.

And then Toaster screams out Lampy's name in utter terror. And I feel like a rock is dropped on me, and so I turn around to find my buddy.

And then,

I can see.

The world is bright, brighter than I ever heard described, each leaf of the looming trees sharp mint greens contrasted by black, each trunk littered in bark and pale brown and everything is contrasted like an oversaturated photo and yet pale like a watercolour painting and oh so bright. The grass is tall and thin bladed and waving in the wind like tales of the ocean and amidst all this overload I can see rain. Weird spots in my vision flying past and hitting me and blinding me.

But most importantly, I see Lampy. I can see him. Truly, see every curve of his being, every angle and colour, the shape of his oversized brass cone shade, his golden power button, his long, thin and bendable silver gooseneck, his base, almost rectangular, and the same brass, but moreso, I can see how his chord is plugged into the battery, I can see how all the light isn't coming from him, like I thought, but from a lightning bolt. A lightning bolt coursing through Lampy, and filling all that he is. It's my first time seeing, and I see how he tenses, jerks and convulses. I see how his eyes go wide, his mouth gape in a scream. I see how his chord frays along itself, plastic sweltering and bursting. I can see his bulb light up gold, yellow, then white as the lightning before bursting, shattering with sparks. I can see the Sparks catch his shade, singeing it. I can see his power button boil and singe as well. I can see his eyes go empty, and tense up tighter than before. I see his eyes roll up into his head, and then the lightning is gone.

And I'm plunged into blackness, and all I can think is its like when I couldn't see at all. I can't see, it's pitch black, but I can hear the thump of Lampy hitting the floor. I can hear everyone scramble to my best friend, and I can still sense their presence, so I use that to find my way to Lampy.

And it's only in front of my friend that it hits me. I saw. I can see. I can see his outline right now. I just saw my best friend for the first time in all fifteen years of knowing him, only to see him practically explode. I can see, I saw Lampy, and now...

Surrounded by everyone's presence, I realise I can't sense Lampy.

He's right in front of me, and he's empty.